Knowledge of Good and Evil

My last post was a happy one about new life. Just 24 hours later, I'm feeling the weight of the world. I can't wait to hold that sweet little baby and the hope she embodies just by her existence. It's been a heavy day indeed...

The world is an absolute mess right now. In the last few months, it’s been Syria, Russia fighting with Ukraine, Malaysian Airlines’ missing plane, then Malaysian Airlines shot out of the sky over Ukraine, a horrible outbreak of Ebola in West Africa, continued suffering in South Sudan, the Rift Valley drought in Kenya, ISIS, North Korea, an new debilitating mosquito-borne illness called Chikungunya, an earthquake in China, and our own racial troubles at home in the US. And on and on and on…

I have felt utter despair today, and I’m not even directly affected by any of these things. In addition to the regular somewhat normal (though not painless) troubles and trials of everyday life with family, sickness, financial struggles, etc., things can feel downright hopeless. I am usually a very optimistic person, and generally I have no trouble at all putting my trust and hope in God for taking care of the world’s big problems. But today, I just feel overwhelmed by it all.

I read a book a long time ago called Margin. It was about leaving space in your life - like the margins on a piece of notebook paper when you are taking notes in class, we must leave empty space around the edges of our daily lives for when we must inject something, or do something God calls us to spontaneously. I learned this lesson many years ago, and have tried to live by this in terms of my activity level and what I say yes and no to.

But I’m finding that the same principle is perhaps true emotionally as well. I feel like my emotional page is full to the very edges of the paper, with no room left to insert anything. Heaven forbid my dog die or something, because I just ain’t got no room to spare.

I was thinking about Genesis 2 the other day, and then the subsequent chapter about original sin. God created this beautiful garden for Adam. He gave Adam free reign over everything, and gave him just one limitation: don’t indulge in this tree called “The Knowledge of Good and Evil.” Weird name for a tree, but I wonder if it was more symbolic, like a warning for all of mankind. Perhaps God saw forward to our time in history, when information zipped around the globe at the speed of light, so that when a journalist in Iraq is beheaded we not only hear about it within minutes, we could even watch it if we wanted to. That is just TMI. Indeed.

I am wondering if the very thing that has allowed us to be more aware and therefore compassionate and active in our world, has crippled us because we now have all the knowledge of good and of evil that we could ever want, and we feel overwhelmed and helpless. News can be addicting, and certainly social media is.

I’m not making any declarations here, but it is something to think about. 

Bart

We knew it was coming. Three of our kids have gotten married since December 2011, so it was just a matter of time, and apparently now is the time...the next generation is on its way! We are going to be grandparents!

Our daughter, Abby and her husband Dave are expecting a girl in early December and we are so excited. She suffered a miscarriage back in the fall of last year, and she wrote about her experience here. So with each month that passed, we were hopeful with her and Dave that there would be new life. She happened to be visiting us here when she took the pregnancy test in late March that revealed a little magic + sign, and we were cautiously optimistic. That was a really special moment for Abby and me, and then because her sister and dad were home then, too, she shared it with them. They kept it under wraps from most until she made it through the first 12 weeks. She's had a pretty easy time of it so far, so there wasn't any morning sickness to have to explain away to her friends.

My husband immediately started referring to the baby as "Bart" for no apparent reason, and continued for months to insist it was a boy (boy, was he ever wrong). And we've had lots of fun with the name game, since it won't be us naming the baby. Back when Bart was in fashion, we thought they could name him Bart Orca Samson Stalsbroten and then his initials would be BOSS. Abby has a fascination with orcas, so we thought that might work. Maybe Baby #2.

"Woman with a baby"

Our family went to the beach together for a few days at the end of May, and Abby decided to share the news with her brothers and their wives then. We took clandestine photos of the belly. And Abby's, too. Somehow Dave can poke his belly out so far, even though he sports a healthy six-pack most of the time!

I'll be Nana, I think, but Kirk is still pondering what he wants to be called. For years, he thought it would be cool to be called The Gov'nah. I keep thinking he should be Pops. Or Poppy. Now he's got it in his head to be The Boss. We'll see.

I know people have babies all the time, but I am just so amazed at the prospect of another generation. Of our people. Adding more people to the family. Multiplying the love. To think that your baby is having a baby...it's a wonder. I've prayed for this little girl as she is growing and changing everyday, and it's so fun to hear about all of Abby's experiences. She and I are sharing a unique experience. Jessie will come in time, surely. But for now, Abby is feeling all that stuff I felt 28+ years ago with her. She's been great about sending photos and telling me about feeling Baby Girl move and kick.

Can't wait to dress that little darlin' up!

We've been feeling for a while that we were "ready" for grandkids. These are the hopes we've shared as we look forward to this phase of life:

• Little ones running around our house, getting into our pantry and making messes
• Making bread and pasta and cookies together
• Carting the kids around in our yard trailer on the back of our mower
• Babies, toddlers, preschoolers and children curled up on our laps, reading all our incredible children's books again and again
• Early morning snuggles and bedtime prayers
• Camping in the backyard
• Nana Camp, and giving Mom and Dad a break for a week or so each summer
• Hearing the kids ask "tell me the story of when..." and then watching my husband spin some exaggerated version of the truth
• Building a tree house
• Introducing them to all the things we love... the beach, sewing, nature hikes, thunderstorms, the workshop, riding bikes, and fall in the mountains
• And, sharing faith with another generation!