Charleston

Yesterday was my 54th birthday. My husband surprised me with a day trip to a beautiful biking trail in southern Virginia...it was a glorious day, full of fun and beauty. I received phone calls, texts and Facebook messages from many friends and family, and I felt loved and honored.

But over my heart there was a dark cloud looming all day, because just the night before, nine lovely Christians were murdered in their church while praying and studying the Bible. A hate-filled young white man, lured their trust and then killed them in cold blood because of their skin color. I was born in the midst of the civil rights movement, and it is devastating to think that for some people, we haven't moved forward at all.

I grieve with the Charleston community, the African-American community, my Christian brothers and sisters everywhere. Why does this have to continue?

Bigotry and racism are alive and well in this country and abroad. I've seen it in other places in the world that I have lived and though the groups of people that despise each other are different, it is the same root of evil that Jesus came to abolish.

And over the past 36 hours or so, I have been examining my own heart. Am I guilty of bigotry? Why do I always want to look at the driver who cut me off, what am I expecting to see? An elderly person? A teen? A person of another race? What purpose would it serve if I knew? Would it add another bit of anecdotal evidence that makes me think all __________ are terrible drivers? God forgive me.

I heard plenty of racist comments growing up from family members and friends. I am too ashamed to repeat any of it, to say who it was that said such things. I appreciate my parents who forbid me to tell jokes or use terms that were racist in nature, even though 'everyone' was doing it. They were raising kids in the middle of the 1960s and chose to make this a priority in their parenting, realizing that they had to be pro-active about it and stop the pattern set for them by their own parents.

But I still need to go deep and look down inside my soul...where can I improve? How can I change? How can I use my 'white privilege' or the little influence I have with my circle of friends to make a difference? Who can I invite into my home and get to know better? What can I say in a situation where someone drops the "N" word or makes a racist remark?

And I want to honor my friends who over the years have made courageous decisions to worship in churches where they were the minority. I have had the supreme privilege of witnessing a little bit of what heaven will be like each Sunday when we gather to worship with people of many skin tones, nationalities and religious traditions. I deeply admire Irene, Kevin, Pam, Olivia, Lisa, Simon, George, and Rich, among many others.

This crime in Charleston was a hate-crime, an act of terrorism, a violent, premeditated murder by a young, white man motivated by evil. Nothing less.

I need the daily purification of the Holy Spirit to constantly cleanse me of my human nature just as much as any other human being. I am thankful for Jesus' sacrifice and power in my life, and I am asking Him now to come and comfort and bring healing to our world.