History of this Casalinga

So...casalinga means "housewife" or "homemaker" in Italian. I like "homemaker" better, because I feel that best describes my chosen vocation. I spent four years preparing for a career in education, did indeed pursue it for a while, but then got married and started having babies, and found that I really loved being a full time homemaker. We decided to make a go of just one income, and with some financial discipline have managed to do just that. We drive used cars, have kept Christmas and vacations modest (by American standards, anyway) and could write the book on DIY. Our lives have been full and rich in experiences, and I have no regrets. 

When our kids moved into their teen years, we decided to start a home building business. My husband left the perceived "security" of a corporate job, acquired his general contractor's license and we started remodeling homes. Then we had the opportunity to build a few custom homes and found we loved doing that together. I am the form and he is the function - I bring the design element to the building process, while he handles the nuts and bolts and finances.


I have no formal training in design, but over the years have learned by experience. I possess skills as a seamstress and have worked with fabric to design and fabricate window treatments and other interior design essentials. We've remodeled numerous parts of our homes over the years and learned a lot by trial and error. Built furniture. Painted countless rooms. Re-upholstered the same chair three times. And now, we've built over 30 custom homes and counting.
So, it dawned on me recently that my dream has always been to be a home-maker...not just making my own home, but literally making homes for other people. I remember as a kid finding a book of house plans in a new section of our neighborhood and being fascinated by the drawings and floor plans...studying the layout, imagining which room could be mine. I even sketched in furniture as I dreamed about this being our new home. I probably should have studied architecture. Little did I know this child's fantasy would become my passion.

My husband actually holds the general contractor's license, but since the slump in home sales, he has been pretty busy doing some industrial construction management in Puerto Rico. I have had to 'hold the fort down' so-to-speak in our residential business for a year or so. I consult with him and together we get it done. But it is a man's world, this world of construction, and my skills and patience have been taxed. I sometimes feel overwhelmed trying to manage everything from selecting tile, carpet, paint and light fixtures (the part I love) to supervising cranky grading contractors and scheduling inspections (the part I don't love). I am very grateful for the work and that we are still operating even in the midst of a really tough housing market, but there are times...

Some of my most memorable moments working as a woman in a man's world include:

• Blushing openly when a landscaping contractor turned to face me with a T-shirt that read...well, I probably shouldn't print what it said. :)
• Pulling up to a noisy job site, so noisy that my approaching car wasn't noticed, and watching a contractor walk from behind his truck zipping up his pants. There WAS a port-a-potty on site...
• Finding a beheaded mouse inside one of our projects.
• Asking a big strong man to help scoop said mouse outside with his shovel and grinning when he said he was kind of squeamish; I promptly asked for his shovel to do it myself. His foreman thankfully jumped in and relieved me of the grim task. 
• Finding a nearly beheaded rabbit, ears missing, in another house. This time though, there was no one to rescue me. I had to take care of it myself. Yuck. 
• Seeing way more proverbial plumber's pants than I ever care to. 
• Walking into a house to find blood all over one of the floors...one of the guys had sustained a serious cut the day before and needed stitches. I was worried the clients would see it and freak out.
• Finding an escaped cow standing in front of the port-a-potty (waiting his turn?).
• Removing the long-dead carcass of a baby deer from under a set of stairs (are you getting the impression we don't build in the city?). 
• Being flirted with many times. It's been tricky to maintain my feminine identity while trying to be the tough guy/boss/payer-of-paychecks. I'm pretty sure a guy named Jose called me "mi Amor" the other day. 
• Having to pay a sub-contractor for a really crappy job and asking him to leave the premises, because I felt very unsafe being alone with him and his crew on the site.
• Enduring man-gossip...oh, yes they gossip and LOVE to talk about the other contractors they work with, complete with racial slurs, petty grievances, and lots of four-letter words. 

And I won't go into the ticks, mud, sheetrock dust, etc. that is a daily part of this world. I don't even think about wearing cute shoes to work. 

But what I actually do enjoy is seeing a job well-done and being able to openly and honestly praise the workers for their fine craftsmanship. I don't think men generally lavish that sort of thanks on other men, and as a woman I find I am quite comfortable doing that. I think the guys appreciate it, too, and they will work with a little spring in their step for me in the future. I also like carrying on the fine reputation my husband has established by paying our bills on time. A lot of people in the construction industry live paycheck to paycheck and it is my pleasure to pay them when they ask for it. 

I also love working with happy clients. Helping them make their home and build their dreams is supremely satisfying. Some are easier than others, but generally it's really fun to help people express their creativity in the place they will call home. 

Making Lamps

(Just a little disclaimer: this is a VERY amateur attempt at explaining electrical wiring...seek a better resource if you decide to try this!)

Italian sink

Anthro lamp

I first saw this lovely in Anthropologie a few months ago and knew immediately I wanted to reproduce it. My 19 year old daughter/Pinterest-addict was with me, and she expressed how much she loved this lamp! Sounded like a Christmas project to me! I started pondering how to drill holes in porcelain without splitting the teapots and cups into many pieces. I also had to keep Jessie's mind off it, as we wandered in to the store again and again so I could have a second and third and fourth look. We had transformed a large piece of Italian pottery into a sink once, so I knew there was a way. I went to Lowe's and asked for a masonry drill bit (I was secretly thinking that if this didn't work out, I'd ask my dentist, Julia, for one of her old diamond bits...teeth are a lot like porcelain, and besides, she's also really creative and would understand, I was sure). I was able to find one that would drill the perfect sized hole for the wiring.

My dear Dad is one of those men who can do just about anything, and he became my tutor for this hair-brained idea. After scouring every Home Goods store in the area, I collected enough white teapots, teacups, saucers, creamers, sugar bowls, etc. that I would need to create four lamps, all of them just a little different, but all about the same size. I went to Lowe's again and gathered the lamp "guts"... all the components that make a lamp, well, a lamp - bulb sockets, harps, long pieces of threaded pipe, cheap extension cords which I used for the wiring and plug. Dad showed me everything from how to run his drill press (slowly and patiently so as not to crack the porcelain) to how to do the wiring. He was also kind enough to make some masonite bases so that the cord wouldn't cause the lamp to be uneven on the bottom. 

Wiring 101

So, here we go. To wire a lamp, you will need:

• a bulb socket with the type of switch you prefer
• an inexpensive extension cord (cheaper than buying a length of insulated wiring)
• a length of threaded pipe for lamps
• a package of nuts and washers to fit the pipe
• a harp unit (two pieces)
• wire cutters/strippers
• two small screwdrivers, one Phillips and one flat head

Begin by cutting the "female" end of the extension cord off with the wire cutters. Discard this. The cord will have two sections. Pull them apart about 2" down. Strip the insulation off to expose the bare copper wires. Twist the copper wires (there will be many of them in each chamber of the cord) tightly clockwise, so that you have two groups of wires. Now you have a length of cord with a plug (the "male" end) at the end. This will serve as the main wiring unit for your lamp. 

Thread the cord through the length of pipe, which has a nut, the harp base, and the bottom-most portion of the socket already screwed on the top, in that order. 

(This photo shows the socket already wired which we will cover in the next paragraph.)

Now, work with the bulb socket. The socket comes apart; separate the components into three sections until you have this one alone:

   

Notice that there are two screws on the sides; one opposite the switch and one 90 degrees to it. Loosen these with a screwdriver. 

Re-twist the copper wires if necessary after threading through the pipe, tightly clockwise, so that you are working with two groups of wires. Each group will be twisted around a screw on the socket. Wrap the twisted wires clockwise around each of the screws, one twisted group of wires to one screw. Tighten screws. Place the top third over the wiring and switch, then those two sections of the bulb socket into its bottom piece which is already screwed onto the pipe.

    

The Scary Part

Now, place a bulb into the socket, plug it in, and turn the switch...if the bulb lights up (and you don't get a shock!), you've wired it correctly! Congratulations! It's a pretty awesome feeling, huh? I feel like I should get an "A" from my seventh-grade science teacher...remember that unit on electricity, and the commensurate science fair projects? 

                                       

Now you can send the long piece of threaded pipe through whatever you want to use as a decorative lamp base...in this case, teapots, cups and saucers. Super glue gel was my best friend in this project. It held all the components together so well, and didn't take long to set up. 

Cuteness!

In the process of making the ones for the girls, we were celebrating my dear friend Ana's 50th birthday. She and her husband invested 7 years of their lives living far from home to launch a church in Krakow. She has collected pottery from a town nearby, and I have seen it in stores around here. So I was able to get enough pieces to create a lamp for her, too, and celebrated her as a "light" to Poland for all those years at her party. The blues and florals in this pottery make a really beautiful piece. And it holds special meaning for her family.

Final Touches

I had several lids from creamers that were super-cute, so I really wanted to try to fashion some finials for the lampshades. I bought inexpensive metal finials from Lowe's and super-glued the top of each to a good-sized nut, so that there would be a flat surface on which to glue the creamer lid. When that was dry, I glued it inside the lid...all of this involved some stabilizing using spools of ribbon or tape. In the end, I had some really cute finials! I didn't purchase shades for each lamp, so that the girls could choose their own, but I "practiced" with one I had around the house. But there are tons of adorable shades at Lowe's, Home Goods, and other places right now. 

             

I couldn't wait til Christmas. Plus, my oldest daughter was going to get hers in the mail, and I wouldn't get to see her reaction. So I gave them out when everyone was here for Thanksgiving. It was a climactic moment when they opened their boxes! Such fun!

             

Dutch Oven Bread

Ever feel late to the party? I've been married, with a fairly well-stocked kitchen for over 27 years. I've raised 4 kids, fed lots of their hungry friends, hosted Thanksgiving for as many as 50, and had gobs of parties. But I've never owned a real enamel-covered cast iron Dutch oven. Until about 2 months ago.

My daughter Abby got one for an early wedding present back in the spring, and started talking it up. I knew that if I was ever going to master the art of French cooking and make Julia Child's Beef Bourguignon, I'd have to own one, but I never expected to cut my grocery bill practically in half because of it!


I buy a LOT of crusty Italian bread, and at $4 a loaf, it's hard to watch it get consumed so rapidly after exiting the grocery bag. So when Abbs told me that I can make a perfect country loaf in my new Dutch oven for pennies, I was pretty - as she likes to say - stoked (where did that expression come from anyway...I think I've always thought it was a reference to smoking pot...is it???). Why did I wait so long to get my hands of one of these hefty little gems? Why didn't anyone tell me about its miracle little steam oven capabilities?

I had a recipe from a Cucina Italiana magazine once for making that bread...you know, the kind with crust so sharp it cuts your gums, but the inside is soft and chewy, and makes those sore gums worth it. But that method required all kinds of pseudo-masochistic techniques like opening a 500 degree oven and spraying it with water occasionally! And lots of risings, and kneading...what a pain. People would have given up on making bread generations ago if it was always this complicated. Surely there was a simpler way.

Making its rounds on Pinterest, Mark Bittman of the New York Times apparently published an article about the Dutch oven method several years ago (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/11/08/dining/08mini.html?ref=dining), promising that it might transform the bread baking industry. If transforming means demystifying and bankrupting the bread baking industry because all kinds of average people were making something just as perfect, well then, yes, I'd say it's been transformed.

It takes some fore-thought, but it is SO worth it. I purchased World Market's version of a 4-quart Dutch oven (enameled cast iron - it's heavy) for $40, at least a third the cost of Le Creuset, and just as good. But other sizes, and even just plain old cast iron will work, too. A lid is a must; you will basically be creating a mini-steam oven within your regular oven.

The method is quite simple: Mix 3 cups of flour with 1/4 teaspoon of yeast, 1 1/4 teaspoons salt, and 1 1/2 cups water with a wooden spoon in a large bowl (it will be super wet, impossible to knead...don't worry!). Cover with plastic wrap and let sit for 12-18 hours. Pre-heat your oven to 450 degrees; place empty covered Dutch oven in pre-heated oven for 30 minutes, to prepare the pot for the baking. Meanwhile, dump dough onto a heavily floured countertop, and sort of mound into a large ball as best you can...it is still pretty wet - I am not shy with the flour at this stage. When the pot is heated, unceremoniously gather up the the dough as best you can and place it into the ungreased, preheated Dutch oven. Place back in the 450 oven for 30 minutes with the lid on. Then remove the lid and bake for another 15 minutes. IT WILL BE PERFECT. You will feel like a CHAMP. And you will never be able to pay $4 for an Italian boule ever again.

Thanks to my newlywed daughter Abby for this inspiration and teaching me a new skill!

Restoring a Family Heirloom

My great-great Aunt Susie Frazier was a fixture in Howard County, Maryland. She first lived in a house in Ellicott City and then later, she built a ranch house on family land a few miles away, in the middle of some tobacco fields which she rented to local farmers. This was apparently the main source of her income; she had never married. My memories of her were limited to the few times we visited her when she was very, very old (at least as I recall) and the ugly dresses she made for me that my mother made me wear at least once. Her house smelled like you would imagine an old lady's house would smell, she had an old pump organ that we were not allowed to touch and there was nothing to do. We endured these few visits with my mother, because apparently, my mom was one of her favorite grand-nieces (maybe her only?). Mom spent many happy memories as a child at her home when she lived 'in town'. Aunt Sue spoiled her, preferring my mother over her rambunctious little brother, Bucky. Mom has repeated the story many times over how Aunt Sue kept a chamber pot in the house for her, so she wouldn't have to go outside to use the toilet. Apparently that was a big deal, because she didn't do that for the brothers or their male cousins.

                                           
              

What made Aunt Sue particularly well-known was her skill as a seamstress. She supplemented her land-lease income by fashioning and altering clothing for local residents. She even sewed for the governor's family! I remember a quilt on my bed as a child that Aunt Sue made...I remember admiring the little tiny scraps of fabric and choosing my favorites. One scrap in particular reminded me of little cherries; it was my favorite and I made a game of trying to find it among so many others. Why I had so much time to lay under the covers and look at fabric, I'll never know, but it intrigued me. It must have caught on, because now, I LOVE fabric and have way too much of it stashed in my attic!

My mother recently gave me one of Aunt Sue's creations, a yo-yo spread, named because of the shape of the pieces, I suppose. In researching the famous toy yo-yo, it was so named in the 1920s and gained popularity thereafter, although other cultures played with a similar toy. I think this spread was made in the 1930s or 40s, so this makes sense. 

The offending repair

It needed some work. Over the years, of course little care was taken - it was tossed atop many a bed, and summarily bounced on, sent through the wash, hung out in the sun to dry, etc. The all-cotton fibers have taken a beating, and the connecting stitches have come undone in several places. There was also a hasty repair about 20 years ago, that incorporated some very bright fabric; um, it doesn't work. 

 

So, I've got it spread out on my dining room table, where I can enjoy the kaleidoscope of color and pattern while I work on it. I've had to discard a few yo-yo's that were beyond hope, absolutely threadbare. But 90 percent of it is salvageable and beautiful. I've calculated there are almost 3,000 yo-yos. It has taken me at least 15 minutes to trace, cut, needle a running stitch around the perimeter, pull the gathers in to form a smaller circle, iron it flat, and sew ONE circle/yo-yo in place! Giving Aunt Sue credit for  being an expert, and getting much faster at it than I, I figured it took her 300-450 hours to complete this project. And let me tell you, 30 minutes of sewing something very small by hand is exhausting. Although I've hit the 50 mark and wearing multi-focal contact lenses, my eyes were screaming at me for a break after a while. (I seem to remember some very thick spectacles in my memory of Aunt Sue, now that I think about it!) But I cannot imagine her working on this for more than an hour at a time. If she worked at it 9 hours a day, it would have taken her ten weeks of full time work. Certainly it filled a year of after-dinner stitching to the sounds of Fibber McGee and Molly, and The Lone Ranger on the Philco radio. Sounds kinda nice, doesn't it?

I've also been inspired to try making one of my own. It's taken some trial and error, lots of error, and I've temporarily given up while I repair the real thing, but it's been a fun project learning how to do this. I have found very thin cotton to work best. 

The general steps are as follows:

1. Create a 3" circle pattern from lightweight cardboard (like a cereal box).
2. Trace onto several layers of fabric; cut many at a time (but, I'm not trying to cut all 3,000 circles at once!).
3. Stack alike fabrics together.
4. Using a quilting needle, sew a running stitch around the perimeter of the circle, about 1/4" from the edge, with a knot in the end of the thread.
5. Without knotting or cutting the end of the thread, pull it so that it gathers the circle around a finger. Knot it off after it is gathered and pulled tightly, creating the "yo-yo."
6. Press with a hot iron, to flatten.
7. After arranging the colors and designs, sew the yo-yos together at four points, creating a 'square' of 16 (8 of each pattern). 
8. After sewing 169 squares of 16 each, stitch them together in an appealing pattern to make a bedspread that will fit a queen size bed. 

Among the hundreds of faded vintage fabrics, I have found the ugly gray dress...still searching for the elusive cherries. So many pretty fabrics. I'm really thankful I have this treasure.

The backside (see that ugly gray gingham?)

ANOTHER engagement!

I know! It is absolutely crazy! I guess this is what our parents were thinking when all of our kids were born - bam-bam-bam. Three of them in just 3 years or so, the first of which was a "honeymoon baby." :)

So I guess I shouldn't be surprised that my three oldest, stair-step children are all getting married within 18 months of each other. It's just head-spinning, mind-boggling, wallet splitting fun! I'm so excited for each of them...let me brag on them and their significant others for a few minutes...


I'll introduce you to Nathan and Mary first, since their big engagement news is the headline of this post and the most recent development. Nate (as apparently he is only called at home) is Metty #3, born in Rome, Italy in 1989 while we were on assignment with Texas Instruments. (My husband had the privilege of working on a team of talented engineers who designed and built a $400 million "wafer fab" (computer chips) in the mountains of central Italy. That assignment plays into the story later on...) Nate is a senior Industrial Design major at Appalachian State University, where he met dear Mary years ago. She is also graduating soon with a degree in Early Childhood Development. She's a tall, blonde beauty with a kind and thoughtful heart. She's from here in North Carolina, and we just love her to bits. Nate is simultaneously two years into his 8 year commitment with the Army National Guard, and is presently missing the first 6 weeks of his senior year for training! He's blowing stuff up and loving it, though he misses his sweet Mary. They are planning an outdoor wedding in May.

Twenty-three years ago, when Nate was born, the Italian chemists that were assisting TI with their project in Avezzano gave us a gift for "il piccolo bambino." It was a beautiful gold ladies' bracelet with a place for engraving. My husband told them, "but the baby is a boy." They promptly replied that it was for his wife someday. So I've had this gorgeous piece in my jewelry box for all these years. Each time I saw it over the years, I thought about who would wear it one day, wondered when that would be and said a little prayer for her. So a few weeks ago when Nate ordered a stunning diamond ring, I began making plans to give this bracelet to Mary as well. I had the word Paziente (patience in Italian) engraved on the front, and their wedding date on the back. Patience marks their relationship in many ways, but I thought it was a significant word for me, too, as I've waited for my son to blossom into maturity and take on a family of his own. He as well has practiced a great deal of patience waiting for Mary to love him as he has loved her for so, so long. He's loved her since he met her, but they both dated others throughout college. He told me that he had always subconsciously measured the others with Mary as his standard. Love IS patient. 

I took a little road trip last Wednesday, and took Mary out to lunch. After we ordered our drinks, Mary thanked me for taking her to lunch, "Well, this is really nice. Thank you for taking me out today!" I promptly told her that I had a reason why I traveled three hours to take her to lunch, and I began to tell her the story of the bracelet. I told her that I had been praying for her for 23 years, and it's been so amazing to see what God has brought to us! It was such a rewarding time to be able to finally give that bracelet to the woman God had been preparing for our son. He had been preparing both of them for this moment with each other, both mature young adults, ready to take on the responsibilities of committing their lives to each other.

I wish that I had a story like that for each of my kids, but Nate was the only one given a gift like that at birth. But it sure makes me want to do it for my grandkids.

However, the idea of legacy has resonated with me for a long time, perhaps because of the gold bracelet. I've been collecting little things for my daughters and saving things for them passed on to me from my mother. And I've paid attention to the crazy family stories of generations past, and repeated them to my kids. And I've put aside things for my sons wives, and saved the sentimental things for them, because I know men don't appreciate things like that.

Jon, our oldest son and second-born, married lovely Stacey last December. I wrote all about that here. He was the first to get married, and there was a wide range and flood of emotions tied to that happy event. Stacey is a wonderful young woman, tender hearted yet strong, absolutely perfectly suited to Jon. They're both adventurous, energetic, and wildly interested in the world around them. Both are still in school full time (dental school for her, engineering school for him). She is strong where he is weak and vice versa. They serve God together and have great vision for their future together. I love the woman God brought to Jon.

I had been keeping something for Stacey as well for many years, though not as dramatic a story as Nate's bracelet. I wanted to give something to Jon's wife someday, too, so I kept my eyes and ears open when he was a small boy to try and find the thing that was special to him. Little boys adore their mothers for a few years, and I treasured the times my sons told me I was pretty. (Oh man, I'm tearing up thinking about those snuggly moments with those cherub-faced little three year olds...) I remember Jon telling me he liked a particular necklace I would wear often, a silver chain with a sapphire cross that my uncle had given me as a girl. After Jon put a diamond on Stacey's finger, I took her to lunch as well, and gave her the beginnings of a charm bracelet, with the cross attached, and welcomed her into our ever-growing family. We had spent a week together on a missions trip a few months before, and were beginning to bond. I'm so happy to have more sons and daughters!

Our oldest, Abby, became Mrs. Dave Stalsbroten in a backyard ceremony under a canopy of trees on a beautiful spring day. I didn't have a special bracelet for Dave, but I'm sure he doesn't mind. I did give him a really cool Piggly Wiggly t-shirt that he says has been a ticket to fame in Seattle! But again, what an awesome guy, just a huge expression of love from our wonderful God. Abby was enjoying a great job, a great new city with all the new adventures related to both, and God just absolutely surprised her with a fast-paced romance. I think it was only a date or two before they both realized this is what they had been waiting so patiently for. Such a beautiful thing to see your kids come together like that. One of the most special times I remember with Dave was when he called (from Nicaragua - he spent 15 months there serving a non-profit) to talk to us about marrying Abby. We talked small talk for an hour before he got down to business. He said that he loved Abby very much and she was what he had been waiting for and could he have our blessing on popping the big question? Dave works in the health insurance industry, for a company with some innovative concepts. They are both creative people and dream of having a business together someday. They take full advantage of their beautiful surroundings in Seattle and spend lots of time outdoors.

We have our youngest, Jessie (who has made an pact with a friend that if they are both single at 35 they'll marry each other, but I don't anticipate that really happening. And anyway, 35 is a really long way off and he wants a bracelet, but we're fresh out), who is contentedly enjoying her life as a college sophomore. All this family change has been tough sometimes emotionally. The biggest thing she and I have discussed is the huge shift in loyalties. The big brothers that you hang out with and get so close to, and feel like YOU are their special girl, suddenly find another special girl, and it's tough! But she is getting to enjoy only child status for a while, which she's never gotten to experience, and we're making the most of this unique time in our lives. It won't be long before I'll be writing about the man who stole our baby's heart...

So...Wedding Number Three - here we come!