Is there a seamstress in the house?

I learned to sew at a young age. I have fond memories of sitting on my grandma's lap while she pieced together tiny bits of fabric to make Barbie clothes for me. She bounced me along while she pumped the treadle with her feet on that old Singer, and I watched as the stitches magically appeared. My mother also sewed, and supervised and advised as I experimented with my own designs. Sewing, as well as child care and cooking, were required courses for girls the three years I was at Arbutus Junior High School (the boys were busy in welding, carpentry and auto mechanics). And then one of my first jobs was in a commercial drapery shop, where I learned even more practical wisdom about working with large pieces of fabric, using the presser foot to sew a straight line, how to use buckram to make pleats, and putting my math skills to work to measure accurately. So, by the time I was 16, I was a fairly experienced seamstress. I took all this for granted, until I was about 30 and noticed how difficult it was to find a fabric store. I realized that not many people sew anymore. I've been asked repeatedly to teach sewing. What I usually say is that I'll show them how to use their machine, and a few basics, but the best way to learn is to just start doing it. Gaining confidence around the terminology, a pattern, your machine, a pair of good shears...cannot be taught. You must just dive in.

I feel a little melancholy when I think about this skill that has been so useful for centuries, just slowly dying out. I feel it must be one of those tragic collateral damage losses from the women's liberation movement...you know, throwing the baby out with the bathwater and all. How did we ever buy into the lie that homemaking skills were an insult to our intelligence? It's an art form that has suffered greatly in the last 30 years. I am on a mission to bring it all back. I am not alone...Martha Stewart has become a wealthy lady by inspiring excellent homemakers. And what are the hottest topics on Pinterest? Cooking, home interiors, DIY projects.

It's just so much fun to take a plain bolt of fabric, cut it and transform it into something beautiful and custom. When my children were babies, I loved making darling little outfits for them. I've altered much of my wardrobe and those pieces end up being the ones I wear most because they fit properly. I have adjusted waistlines (in and out!) on my husband's dress pants over and over again, altered my sons' suits and repeatedly repaired their blue jeans. Most recently, I've worked on my daughter's wedding gown. I don't know what I would do if I had to pay someone to make custom window treatments...I know how much I get paid to do this! And it's such a great way to make a house your home. What would I do without my ability to sew?

Here are some examples of window treatments (and general interior design) I have done recently...

So this post is dedicated to the generations of women in my family that carried the tradition of sewing...Grandma, Aunt Sue, Aunt Annie, Mom...I have taught my daughters the basics (and sons actually...although I try to keep one of them away from my sewing machine as he broke it once trying to make a costume with seat belt webbing!) and 

I hope that they fill their homes with 

beautiful handmade things.

Thrift Store Obsession

Now that we've got Jon and Stacey married, it's time to turn our focus to our daughter Abby's wedding to Dave in April. We've all been working hard to do all the planning tasks, including juggling schedules and meetings so that they can make plans when they are here in town. See, they live 3,000 miles away and the wedding is here! So a few days after my son's wedding in December, we had appointments with the seamstress, the rentals company, and the caterer. The caterer. Hmmm. The caterer (to whom I've given a $500 deposit!) has filed for bankruptcy. I doubt we will see our deposit or any catering services, since it's been a month now, and no contact from them at all.

So, I've rallied the troops: all my dear friends with a similar passion for cooking and hospitality will help me throw a dinner party for 200 in my backyard. One of our desires is to make this reception as visually stunning as the bride herself...although I doubt that is possible, actually. No plastic platters from the party store for us! I am on a mission: to amass as many silver platters, trays and water pitchers as I can possibly store in my home. There are wonderful thrift and antique stores here in my home town and they were loaded with these items until I arrived and bought them all! (Actually, me and Nan - I have a little friendly rivalry with my neighbor, Nan about these outings. We try to see who found the most amazing items at the best prices.) My kids think I have lost my mind and am hoarding. Some were only $2 and $3! They were terribly tarnished as a result of many years of neglect, possibly buried in the back of some barn for 50 years, but I saw past all that ugly and realized there were treasures to be had beneath. There must be many a little old lady who left her earthly treasures to the PTA Thrift Stores in this little town, when she passed on. Who knew?

Hard to tell from the photos, but the one in the middle says it best (before and after).

Wright's Silver Polish to the rescue!

Here are some more examples of the finished products...

So beautiful wedding reception, here we come!

A Son's Wedding

Well, it happened. We married off one of our children. Our second-born, Jon married Stacey a week before Christmas in a lovely outdoor ceremony. It was a beautiful moment in time; a life-time of reward in one 30 minute ceremony. When your kids are young, their weddings seem so far away. On those days when they are throwing things at their little brothers or forgetting to do their Chemistry homework, a mother wonders if they will ever be mature and responsible enough to be married. So it is quite rewarding to watch that son grow into maturity, taking on responsibility for themselves, loving a woman, and asking her to be his partner for life. The words spoken on that day are for life, and a covenant is made. It was a momentous day, full of tears and joy and laughter. I laid my head on my husband's shoulder as Stacey walked down the aisle with her dad, and tried to drink in the moment. My handsome son was up front watching with baited breath as his beautiful bride came to him on her daddy's arm. They gazed into each others eyes and committed themselves for life. They prayed together and exchanged rings. Then we ate and danced and sent them off on their new life together. They have set up housekeeping nearby, and are just so adorable.

As a mom, I just continue to revel in the blessing. We sometimes go through very rough times watching our children grow up. They can make really bad decisions and we hate to see them suffer. We hope for the best in their lives, but they sometimes choose the worst for themselves. We spend countless hours on our knees, asking God to protect them and preserve them for His purposes. We watch them hurt other people in their immaturity and hold our breath until they make it right.

But then, they blossom. They start to say "thank you" more often. They offer to help. They pay for your lunch out together. They apologize. They become good citizens. They serve their community. They lead others. It's just amazing.

So far, my fondest memory of the last few weeks has been one afternoon when I had stopped by Jon and Stacey's apartment. Jon was home, but Stacey was still on her way. He looked out of the window the same time Stacey's bus pulled up some distance away. He said, "oh, there's her bus. Hmmm, I wonder if she'll come right home or if she'll stop and pick up the mail. Oh, she's taking the shortcut." He watched her every move, all the way to the apartment door, then he eagerly opened it, kissed her hello and brought her in from the cold. It was absolutely precious. So much love. I am so proud of him. And so happy for them both.

The Annual Gingerbread House

For the last 22 years, our family has built a gingerbread creation...not always technically a "house" but everything from a Swiss chalet to an igloo to a church. The castle makes its recurrent appearance, this year being one of them. Seems the baby of the family couldn't shake the dream of building a castle this time, and since she's technically the only one still living at home (some of the year), we decided she should have the final say on its design. Other contenders were a Gingerbread Beach Condo and a Gingerbread Yurt - ??? (Our daughter Abby travels internationally a lot for work...so I think she had some exotic rendition in mind...)

So, castle with four turrets, crenelations and a central tower it is. A few years ago Abby put together this video about the process. It has become a family tradition, though as one can see in the video, a bit of a drudgery to Pops Metty. But he loves all the attention his whining brings him. :) This year's was an epic event with lots of extra "Mettys" around to help, give advice, and just eat up the candy. It has become a well-known annual event among those who know us, and each November when the Christmas decorations start coming out o f the attic, I start getting asked, "what's the gingerbread design this year?"

I kept a book called, Let's Make a Memory, by Shirley Dobson on my shelf for the first several years of my marriage. In it, Mrs. Dobson encourages women as keepers of the home, to establish traditions that will draw all family members into a unit. Finding things that everyone enjoys and looks forward to each year is sometimes tricky. You could start doing something that is fun the first year, but no one wants to do it again. Or it's too expensive. Or no one liked it the first year! Holidays are great times of establishing these heartwarming rituals and help to create a unique personality for each family. Have you ever noticed that a home has a personality? Some homes are tense. Some are peaceful. Some fun, or loud, or sad. I have heard it said (and want it for my home!) that laughter should fill the walls.

I strongly believe that this is one of the chief roles a woman plays in her family. She is the one that sets the tone, that builds the emotional intimacy, that is the gatekeeper of influence. We often say, "when Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." This is true. But when Mama sets a happy tone in her home, then it is easier for the others to fall in line. Ladies, be proactive about this. If we let the personality of our homes just 'happen,' then it is easy for negativity, criticism, and strife to exist. But if we can be intentional about building our homes, we can pass along a wonderful heritage to our children, and create a place where others will want to come and find rest. That, to me, is the true meaning of hospitality. Making your home a place of refreshment and peace. So many people need this in our world.

To wax philosophical for just a moment: our gingerbread creations may look good on the outside, full of candy and sugar. But they are always empty on the inside; no one lives there, and they sit lonely on the dining room table for weeks after they are built. I want my home to be beautiful, but I wouldn't trade the noisy, busy, fun place that it is for all the finery of a glitzy house. I always want it to be full of people, sharing our lives together.

Pantry Soup

So, I got to go home to NC after my first few weeks in Puerto Rico. I was a happy girl. The kids have been keeping the house in pretty good shape, although my puppy was in desperate need of a bath. It took me a while, however, to get back into the swing of things in terms of being in charge of the household again. I hit the ground running with doctors appointments, meeting friends for coffee and following up on construction projects that we had started.

I wanted to cook something for everyone who would be home that night, but I was tired after a long day of running around, and the last thing I wanted to do was hop in the car and go out for groceries. This is when one's culinary skill is tested: what can you make with what you've got in the house?

There had been several cans of beans and peas in the pantry for months. I don't know if someone bought them for a food pantry and never delivered them or if they were the collected leftovers from some retreat. But I was tired of seeing them in there and put together a plan to turn them into something delicious. A can of peas is nothing special on its own, but with the combined magic of oil, garlic, bacon...mmmmm.

I don't have any photos to share, so you'll have to use your imagination. But I've learned when working with beans, though filling and satisfying, they need some help in the flavor department. A basic beginning to any bean based soup is a combination of oil, some sort of cured pork product (think bacon, sandwich ham, smoked ham, sausage), thyme, basil, carrots, celery, onions, garlic, a cube of chicken boullion, salt and a lot of black pepper. Once you get all that going, simmering the vegetables down to a nice soft consistency, you can add the beans. If you are using dry beans, of course soaking them and cooking them first would be necessary. But since I was cleaning out the pantry I used the cans I had on hand: cannelini, peas, limas, black. I drained all of them first, using the liquid as needed to make a soup. I warmed all the beans in the oil and vegetable mixture, to spread all the flavors around evenly. I added the liquid from the beans a little at a time, and some water. And then as I was finishing up, it seemed the soup wasn't quite thick enough. I thought about blending half the soup to create a thick consistency, but I saw a lonely can of refried pinto beans at the back of the shelf. In the pot and give it a good stirring. Instantly perfect consistency! I made some cornbread and we had a very veggie meal.

This made a pretty huge pot of soup, so it was great for lunches, etc. To me, it always feels good to clean out the pantry. I like to wait until I've made use of almost everything in the house before I go shopping again. That way, I know we are eating everything I buy and nothing is going to waste.

A couple of photos are always a good idea on a blog...even if they have nothing to do with the entry! So, here's what else we did while home on this little break from PR:

I really enjoyed my fall garden...

...and we got in a great visit with our kids in the mountains!

Vacation Home Kitchens

There is always something new, isn't there? Just when you turn 50 and think you're settling into that comfy, albeit lonely, world of the empty-nester, God throws you a curve-ball. “I have to work in Puerto Rico for a year,” my dear husband says to me one day in late August. “And I have to be there next week.”

What?

I hear the mental brakes screeching, and the gears grinding as I search to re-adjust my thinking. A thousand thoughts run through my head. Where will we live? Do I need to be there? What about all our responsibilities at home? What about my dog? Our kids in college? What about the two weddings coming up in our family? My kids' weddings!

But, after the initial shock, and rapid departure of my husband, I collect my thoughts and settle into this new adventure. I find out that we will be living in someone's luxury vacation condo, at a resort, right on the beach. Complete with 5 pools, spa, the rainforest in our backyard, etc. Can't complain about that. I get all my ducks in a row at home in terms of getting my daughter settled into college life, my dog taken care of, our mail and household obligations covered, and start packing my swimsuits. I arrive on a hot and humid September afternoon, and rush through a quick trip to the grocery store. My husband has been here for two weeks alone, and he is ready for some home-cooked meals and companionship.

For the first two days, I clean up the condo, do lots of laundry, and plan and cook fabulous meals. I mean, my husband's been living like a lonely bachelor; it's the least I can do. Then we find out that we have to move into a hotel (sans kitchen or laundry facilities) for a week. Although it's another lovely location on another beach, I am starting to get antsy. WHAT will I do with myself? So after crying over missing my friends and kids (and dog) for a few days, I embrace what looks to be an extended Caribbean vacation. I read. I write. I pray. I tan. I swim. I text. I work out. I spend way too much time on Facebook.

Then we move back into the condo, and I have got to get a grip on life! My husband's office is a two hour commute each way with our only vehicle, so I am alone for 12 hours a day at least. There is nothing within walking distance except the hotel and I feel a little like a prisoner in paradise. And on top of all that, we find out that there has been some crime on the resort property, and that maybe long walks on the empty beach is not such a good idea alone.

I finally make peace with this. I decide that I will never have this time in my life again. I can remember raising little ones. Of course there are lots of fond memories, but I remember many days and nights being near complete exhaustion and thinking I would never make it through another day, longing for time alone, longing for adult conversation, longing for a nap! But I also remember thinking that this season of life would pass all too quickly and never repeat itself. I had to embrace the good and the bad about that season. Enjoy each little victory and joy with my babies, even if they cried all day and got up a lot at night. Even if I didn't have a relaxed date with my husband for months.

So I find myself in that same position again. Will I embrace the good and the bad about being in Puerto Rico? There is certainly a lot to be thankful for. Never again will I have hours on end of uninterrupted time to write, to journal, to think, to plan, to prepare. I can use this time to hone my skills in these areas and concentrate. I expect that with two children getting married, grandchildren will start arriving in the next few years, and then I'll be happily occupied with them and serving their exhausted parents.

So for now, it's just me and my lovey. We can use this time to renew our romance; it's been pretty saucy up 'til now anyway, but we can always improve! We do feel a lot like newlyweds since we are completely alone and have no one really pulling on us day to day. Of course, I have to chat or text with my college freshman often (poor thing...she's really homesick!) but otherwise it's just us. Candlelit dinners, long walks on the beautiful beach, romantic day trips sailing or snorkeling. It's kind of nice.

So what of the challenges? One of the big ones for an avid gourmand, is the sparsity of a vacation-home kitchen. I think these folks rarely cooked beyond brewing bad coffee and making popcorn in the microwave! So I fought with the dull knives for a day or two, then decided to take my husband to work one day to shop and hang out at the local Starbucks. I bit the bullet and bought a decent knife, along with a skillet, some wooden spoons, a small charcoal grill, and some basic pantry staples. I also got a basil plant. I hope it makes it on the balcony.

Ahh. I felt like I could breathe once I had some yeast, olive oil, dried herbs, fresh garlic and lemons. I planned a week's worth of amazing dinners for two, and commenced cooking. I have run into a few challenges, like trying to bake a spice cake in a saucepan and rolling out pizza dough with the side of a glass, for lack of a rolling pin. But I sure wow-ed my husband with my creations and his delight was my reward. I did indeed feel like a newlywed, only without all the insecurities! This really is a sweet time of life.

To top off a great meal, we often share a glass of red wine and listen to the waves break on the sand.

And one of my personal favorites, is greeting the morning on the balcony with a cup of coffee and my Bible, with the crashing waves as a backdrop to the hours spent there each day.

I've also taken up quilting with some scraps I've brought from home. My mother just gave me one like it that my grandmother made in the 1930s and I want to create one of my own. Instructions on this type of bed covering (called a “yo-yo spread”) will be forthcoming on this blog.

My daughter's fiance told me recently about something he'd read: “Our lives can be like river water just swirling around in a jar. Sometimes we must just sit, and let the sediment settle.” That is what I get to do right now. Clarity will come, but for now, just relax.

Dip!

Sometimes, creating a home means creating a home for more than just our immediate family. Sometimes it means providing a nest, an atmosphere of love, peace, joy and safety for others that come into our lives. Our life is but a brief blip on an eternal screen, but what we do with our resources makes all the difference. It has been our aim for many years, especially since having teenagers, to foster a sense of home for everyone who walks through our front (or back!) door, short or long term. Our lives should always be invested in others, for their benefit, but also for the enriching of our own lives. Our guest book is full of a variety of names and faces...middle aged married couples like us, orphaned Ugandan children here for a visit, grandparents, cousins, students, Canadians, South Africans, Filipinos, young and old...each one with a unique memory. Some stayed a night or two, others for a year or more.

Our Kentucky Pie Girl, Jessie is leaving us. She has been a wonderful addition to our family for the past year, staying in one of our extra bedrooms and filling our home with her insights, passions, GRE study vocabulary, and her love. We wanted to celebrate her and her accomplishments with a proper party. We strung up lanterns and gathered the goodies. Though she has a penchant for Mountain Dew and candy, she appreciates good food, and has an as-yet-undeveloped sixth sense in the kitchen. She LOVES dips. So we threw her a party full of dips and good friends. This wasn't really a "cooking night" per se, but everyone brought their favorite dips and dippers, and we ate more than we could calculate, exchanging recipes in the process.

Warning: Dips can be a very high calorie meal, b/c you eat them without really gauging how much you're eating! Here is a sampling...

Guacamole.................Spinach Artichoke......................Bean Salsa

Mexican layers......................Onion Dip...............................White Pizza

After we gorged ourselves on entirely too many grams of fat, we worked it off by playing a rowdy game of Reverse Charades, which I highly recommend. The highlight was when one-year-old Iris Ray served as a perfect Mufasa prop, being hoisted high to act out "The Lion King."

Many kind words were spoken and well-wishes given. Jessie is off to work on a Masters in Social Work at the University of Chicago. She's going to do GREAT. We'll miss her, and she'll really miss us, especially when the chill wind begins to howl over Lake Michigan.

Happy Dipping! (and stay warm Jessie!)