Black Bean Cupcakes (??)

Ever since my friend Elizabeth sent some of these over for dessert a few months ago, I've been making them over and over again, trying to get a sugar-free version of this already gluten-free treat. They were SO delicious, like seriously delicious - not in a "oh-they're-pretty-good-for-a-GF-dessert" kind of way. Moist and chocolatey. Guilt-free, kind of. Hooked.

Here's my version of the recipe that my friend used:

Chocolate cupcakes

Mix the following in a really good blender (Nutri-bullet) for about 2 full minutes:
1 can of black beans, drained and rinsed
4 eggs
1 T vanilla
5 T butter, softened
3/4 c. coconut sugar

Once blended, blend in for about 30 seconds:
5 T Special Dark cocoa powder
1 t. baking powder
1/2 t. baking soda

Pour into cupcake liners; bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes.
____________________________________________________________________________
Topping/Frosting options:

Did you know you can make powdered 'sugar' from coconut sugar? Use that handy-dandy Nutri-bullet again to blend coconut sugar and a little arrowroot powder to create a powdery sugar that is great for frostings.

PB Frosting
1 c creamy peanut butter, sugar free (everything but peanuts free, actually)
5 T butter, softened
2 c powdered coconut sugar
1/2-3/4 c heavy cream,

Beat PB, butter and sugar. Add in cream and beat til fluffy. Amazing.






Berry sauce (I use this on ice-cream, cheesecake, pound cake and now these chocolate cupcakes!)
Place a bag of frozen berry mix into a saucepan. Heat til thawed, adding a little water if necessary. Smash a bunch of the whole berries as they cook. Add a little cornstarch or arrowroot powder mixed with cold water to thicken, and add a spoonful of coconut sugar if it's too tart for you.

Seafood Paella

Kirk and I have long been enamored with the PBS documentary series, "Spain: On The Road Again" which is a gastronomic tour through Spain alongside some famous actors and foodies. We recently got to thinking about the episode (which I cannot find ANYWHERE) where they are in Valencia having paella. Kirk had his first paella in London (which we all know is the place to eat any cuisine your heart desires - and will not be English fare, wink, wink) and loved it. And then more recently we tried one at Taberna Tapas in Durham, our local foodie capital. It is so beautiful and with such amazing components, how could it not be a culinary delight. So, why not try it at home? I've made it four times in the past month, and we are so smitten, I bought TWO paella pans so I can make it for a crowd. 

(adapted from jocooks)

Ingredients for 4-6 servings:

• Generous drizzle (about 4 T) of EVOO in a paella pan or large cast iron skillet. 
• 2 Andouille or Chorizo sausages, cut into 1" pieces
• 1/2 pound of mild fish (Mahi Mahi works well) cut into 1" cubes
• 1 c chopped onion 
• several (3-7) minced garlic cloves
• 1.5 c "Calasparra" rice (found at World Market) or "Bomba" rice 
• 1 14 oz. can diced tomatoes (fire roasted with green chilis if you like it spicy!)
• 4 c chicken or vegetable stock
• 2 t smoked paprika
• pinch saffron 
• S & P (throughout prep)
• 16 large shrimp, raw, tails on
• 12-16 fresh live mussels (cleaned, if open, discard)
• 12-16 fresh live clams (cleaned, if open, discard)
• 1/2 c frozen baby peas
• Spring onions, chopped for garnish
• Fresh parsley, chopped for garnish
• 2 lemons, cut into wedges for garnish
• Hot sauce, like Tabasco if desired

Heat oil on medium high flame. Add sausages and fish, and sprinkle with S & P. Cook for 5 minutes to sear sides. Push to side of pan, rdeuce to medium flame, and add onions; sprinkle with S & P and cook 3 minutes to soften. Add garlic; cook for one minute. Stir all together, and stir in rice to coat with oil and drippings. Add canned tomatoes; give all a generous stir, and cook for 5 minutes. Add broth, paprika, saffron and S & P again. Stir gently to allow all the broth to be evenly distributed throughout the pan, but then don't stir again; let some rice stick to bottom. Cover loosely with a cookie sheet or some other large lid, but not tightly fitting. cook for 15 minutes, until most of the liquid has been absorbed. Remove lid and place shellfish into the rice in an attractive arrangement. Cook another 10 minutes till mussels and clams open. Turn off heat. Sprinkle frozen peas all over and cover. The heat from the rice, etc. will thaw peas and keep their bright green color. Arrange spring onions, parsley and lemon wedges just before serving in cooking pan.

My choice for Prez

Tick, tick, tick...we are just two weeks away from Election Day, and my husband and I have been researching, planning and praying about how to cast our precious votes for President. Never in our 55 years, have we seen anything like this cycle. It has been challenging to remain hopeful and positive, even for this eternal optimist. The one thing that we are confident about - our country has weathered many difficult storms and we are resilient as a people. The system our forefathers put in place is one we feel good about, and we realize how privileged we are to be able to participate in this democratic, free, and fair process. We've lived in places where this is not the case, and we still think America is the greatest place on earth to live. 

Although I realize I'm not all that influential, I also know that there are many people curious about how their friends and family are viewing this election and our options. It has been quite disturbing to see how divisive this has been, and I have attempted to stay out of the public debate on social media. 

So I thought I'd write about what information influenced me, where I looked for wisdom and to whom I bent my ear. 

What does the Bible have to say? What lens am I viewing this through?

• Early on, before the primaries, I camped out on this scripture about living together as a body of Christ - James 3:17-18 (The Message version) "Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings...you can develop a healthy, robust community [of Christ-followers] that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and respect."
• Then, as the primaries passed and people became very polarized, I started to grieve about how this community of believers was treating each other, not at all like what is described in the scriptures above (at least on social media). I began to feel a passion for the Bride of Christ, the Church, and I want to do my part to beautify Her, not contribute to her demise. In 2 Corinthians 11:2-3, Paul expresses concern about this, too: "I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him. But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ."
• Matthew 24 describes what will happen toward the end of time. It is quite disturbing to read it now in the light of what is happening here in the US. Verses 10 (New International Version) says, "Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold." I feel like maybe our love for each other is no longer a priority for many Christians. 
• So I began to look for things that presented a conversation about the election that followed these basic principles: dignity, respect, and reasonableness. 

Researching the basics - original sources
I have read the party platforms of the Democrats, Republicans, and Libertarians. I watched the first debate, and part of the second. (Couldn't stomach any more than that.) I've visited the websites of each major candidate and read what they are campaigning for. I have followed the careers of Clinton and Trump for many years. I've learned about Gary Johnson, Jill Stein, and Evan McMullin. 

Listening to the pundits
I keep both conservative talk radio and NPR on speed dial in my car and listen occasionally (and really only occasionally b/c most of the time when either is talking politics, I can't handle too much) to both sides, gleaning what they promote. I've tried to see things from many perspectives. Many of the voices I respected for years sorely disappointed me this time around. Character mattered back when Bill Clinton was doing the dirty in the Oval Office...does it not now? I've had to dig a lot deeper and ask myself what I really believe about the issues, not what my family, friends, or leaders think about them. I generally don't like being put in a box or labeled, and find my politics to be somewhat nuanced. A wise friend (who will likely vote differently from me) also said, "Don't moralize this election. Vote your politics, but don't tell me one candidate is a more moral choice than the other." I whole-heartedly agree. 

Read, watch, listen, and read some more. 
Thanks to social media, I've been able to see lots of blogposts, videos and articles from all kinds of publications that I wouldn't otherwise read. I try to stick to stuff that is reasonable and peaceable. I particularly sought out both Christian and conservative voices that were frustrated with their options, and tired of everyone being so hateful. I avoided anything that was strongly pro-Trump or pro-Hillary. Here is a sampling of things that have influenced me about different issues and ideas:

• Russell Moore, a prominent leader in the Southern Baptist Convention wrote this for Christianity Today: Should Christians Vote for the Lesser of Two Evils?
• And more about that lesser of two evils from The Gospel Coalition. 
• What if Hillary Wins the White House? An article in Charisma about how those who strongly oppose Clinton and are believers in Christ should respond. 
• Heard that argument about why conservative Christians need to be concerned about Supreme Ct. nominations? This blogpost had some interesting things to say about that. 
• Don't trust D.T. anyway on SCOTUS nominations. Or really about anything.
• Some reasons as a conservative, not to vote for Donald Trump. 
• How the Electoral College works, and why it is genius. 
• It doesn't have to be Trump or Clinton...
• Being pro-life, means womb to tomb. Love this article!

If you can't tell by now, I prefer less government involvement over more, therefore I take a more conservative view (generally). I was really looking for a reason to vote for one of the two main candidates, but I just couldn't find one. 

Soooo...what to do? 
I am most concerned about standing in front of God one day and giving a reason for why I voted the way I did. My conscience can only let me do one thing: vote for a third party candidate and leave it to God to sort out. Whoever wins the election will have my prayers. 

Let us all be in prayer that God will set in place the leader He wants us to have, for whatever His reasons may be (which may seem strange to you and me). And above all, let those of us who love and serve Jesus be gentle and reasonable with our fellow believers! 

I'll leave you with a final scripture: Romans 13:1 "Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God." We're heading to early voting tonight, and I'm putting my trust in God to handle the details, while I do my part. 

The King is Naked!

I know every generation of 50-somethings must say this, but really, is the world getting crazier? Things that were utterly unimaginable in the 1980s are now totally mainstream. Heck, things that were unheard of a year ago are finding their way into daily conversation. Conditions that were once part of the list of psychological disorders are now commonplace and celebrated. Wildly dysfunctional relationships are part of most childhood stories, and when once I only knew one or two people from a broken home, I am now surrounded by them. Two completely unsuitable presidential candidates are our only options on election day in November, and our vet offers laser tag for five extra dollars when boarding the dog.

This scene from Notting Hill illustrates my point:

Poor William isn't quite sure what to say! I know how he feels. Almost weekly, I am hearing some new lifestyle expression, some new genre of human being, some new preference. Gosh, I think even new genders are being identified. It is beyond normal, and even NPR is giving voice to some of it. I heard a well-known host talking with a guest about a 'two-spirited' neighbor, with what I assume was a straight face. Yep. That's a thing. Being two-spirited. Look it up.

One of my favorite childhood stories is The Emperor's New Clothes, by Hans Christian Andersen. If you're not familiar with the story, it goes something like this: some charlatans come to town peddling their fine 'cloth,' so fine that it is invisible - and expensive. Only the wealthiest of the wealthy can afford it. The narcissistic king wants only the best for himself and he falls for it. They go to great lengths, spinning a tale of how fine and beautiful the fabric is, taking their time creating the king's new wardrobe, all the while reassuring the king that only he has a mind broadened and enlightened enough to actually see the fabric. So of course, he pretends to see it. The townspeople realize it is all a hoax, but no one is brave enough to speak up for fear they will be shamed by the king and his supporters. 

Finally, the robes are completed and the king wants to show off his new duds. He dons what he thinks are fine clothes and parades through the streets. No one speaks up. All the people just stare and bow, and feign admiration. No one wants to speak the truth. The king isn't actually wearing anything.

A little boy, who certainly doesn't care about being politically correct, speaks up and shouts what he sees, "the king is naked!"

As a culture, are we there? Are we propping up these ridiculous notions of normalcy, so that we don't risk being shamed by our politically correct society? Should we be shouting, "the king is naked!"

We are doing our troubled neighbors, colleagues and acquaintances a terrible disservice by not calling what they are struggling with an illness, a disorder, a problem. Maybe even sin. Instead of celebrating their so-called freedom, we should be offering help and healing, and a way to escape the bondage.

Randy Stonehill, a popular musician during my college years penned these words:

Stop the world, I want to get off. 
This is too weird for me. 
Stop the world, I want to get off
I get the definite impression that this isn't how it's meant to be.
-Stop the World, Randy Stonehill 

(full lyrics here)

Though tempting to dream about, I don't really want to get off. But I do want to leave a positive legacy on the earth when I pass on. How can I make the world a better place for my grandchildren? Encouraging people to continue living in self-destructive ways by my indifference or celebration is not one of those ways. Telling the king he is naked, perhaps is. I want to find a way to pull him aside and tell him lovingly with a hug and some kindness, "let me help you find some real clothes, your Highness."

Emma Kate!

How did we get so BLESSED to have such wonderful children and grandchildren?? My heart is full to overflowing with all this sweetness.

Meet Emma Kate. She is our little darling granddaughter, brought to us by our son, Nathan and his sweet wife, Mary in February. Isn't she precious?

This girl has got the moves...quite literally, she is in constant motion. Mary said while she was pregnant that baby girl was constantly kicking her. We all watched it! One wonders what this means? Will she be an Olympic soccer player? Or does she just have a super high metabolism and has got to burn all that energy off somehow?

She is now coming up on 4 months old, and is starting to coo, talk, laugh and she smiles all the time. It is so wonderful when a baby starts to interact with her people. I love it when I get a chance to hold her, sing to her and read her a book. Just feeling her little body in my arms...so much love.

And I'm so proud of Mary and Nate. They are great parents! These first few months of newborn life, having a baby in your home for the first time, very sporadic sleep...these times can try the soul. But they always look beautiful, rested and joyful and are taking their parenting role very seriously. There is nothing quite like watching your son be a daddy. The love in his eyes for his little girl...so precious.

I am so thankful for this beautiful gift of life, of a new little girl that carries our name and God's purposes into the next generation. We love you, Emma!

Learning to Love Well

I turn 55 years old on Saturday. I learned about a personal relationship I could have with God when I was 10 years old and embraced that for myself, so that means I've been a follower of Christ for forty-five years. But I am FAR from where I know He would like me to be. I am still learning, and the more I grow and learn, the more I realize how far I am from the mark. I am still learning to love well.

Sunday morning, in the wee hours of party time, a man with evil in his heart went into a nightclub and killed 49 people, and injured many others. Since then, the interwebs have been full of expressions of love and concern, but also admonishment, blame, judgement and accusations.

"Christians, say something. Don't say nothing."

"Christians, don't say something now. It's disingenuous."

"Christians are full of hate towards the LGBTQ community."

"Christians love the LGBTQ community."

Golly, what is it? There is no formula to find the truth in all this; everyone has an opinion. We love to look like the good guy out there in cyber space and make everyone else look like they are not doing it right. Facebook is my social media platform of choice, but I almost cannot stand it any longer. (As a matter of fact, I 'unfriended' 650 of my 700 friends recently, just to simplify my life. Hopefully most of those 650 people are still my real friends, though.) I have seen all of this kind of conflicting and divisive commentary on FB since Sunday. My husband doesn't have any social media accounts; no Facebook, no Instagram, no Snapchat, etc. He is completely oblivious to the conflict that is raging particularly on Facebook right now (and at other times). Wouldn't it be nice to live in such oblivion? He is not responsible for any awareness of people being snarky and judgey with each other, simply because he does not participate in it.

Sometimes I want to move to the moon and escape it all.

In John 17, Jesus is praying for his disciples. He spends a fair amount of time asking God to help them be one, be in unity as he and the Father are in unity. This is such a strong indictment on the church currently...if there is one thing we are not, it is unified! The banter on social media and the accusations between Christians toward one another is appalling. It is the farthest thing from unity that could ever be. How grieved God must be when he looks at his church. I'm not sure what the solution is but I have to believe humility is a starting point.

What I do know, is that I have not learned all I need to know about loving well. Loving my family. Loving my neighbors and friends. Loving those who think differently than I do (and FB just illuminates this in. my. face. every single day and it's just gotten to be too much). Loving those who are different than I.

I'm venting today, because I want to just feel sad that so many souls passed into eternity too young, too soon, too early, but I feel like the world is telling me that I need to think about some other things, too. I just want to feel sad, not complicated.

So I did; I cried really hard today thinking about all that was lost. God help us.

Whole30 and Beyond

I have cranked up my cooking classes again (which have surprisingly gotten very popular lately...had to put a cap on the number of people descending on our kitchen for messy activities such as making pasta from scratch...it was fun, but, whew! That's a lot of eggs) and wow, are we having a good time!

My family and I completed the Whole30 challenge in January, and although I would say that not everyone 'enjoyed' it, I did. Maybe because I poured my heart and soul into in the kitchen all month. Maybe because I definitely saw some improvement in the way I feel, slept, energy levels, etc. I would highly recommend this to anyone who has the time to devote to meal planning and cooking. I learned so much about myself and my relationship to food, and learned a bunch of new things in the kitchen, too. I ended up making all kinds of things from scratch: mayonnaise, almond milk, bacon (yep - can anyone say 'pork belly?'), and salad dressings.

I thought it would be awesome to pass along some of what I learned to my cooking class, so we had a BforD (Breakfast for Dinner) last night. (*note: cheese is a no-no on the Whole30 but I introduced it last night as an option for those not following the diet)

Menu: Frittata, Sausage, and Banana Pancakes

Frittata is awesome because it is so easy, kinda gourmet, and can be different every time. It lets a new cook feel a huge sense of accomplishment while allowing so much freedom to be creative. And you can use leftover meat, veggies or cheese. No special ingredients necessary. 

Frittata
Ingredients and Instructions:
A cast iron skillet, small if you are just making enough for one or two.
Olive oil
Vegetables: can be fresh or already cooked, leftovers are great! Mushrooms, onions, garlic, peppers, spinach, kale, potatoes, sweet potatoes, squash, etc.
Meat, if desired: ground beef, pork, chicken, shrimp
Cheese: whatever!

Heat oil in skillet. Saute vegetables and/or meats til thoroughly cooked. Season if desired with s&p, oregano, thyme, sage...be creative!

When saute is complete, add beaten eggs, one or two per person. Turn heat to medium-low and let eggs cook until they are almost set. Add cheese on top if desired and place in broiler for a few minutes until frittata is completely cooked (eggs will be set) and cheese is melted and browning.
Remove from oven and serve.

Sausage
Most ready-made sausage has sugar in it, so I wanted to find a way to enjoy this breakfast treat in a Whole30 compliant way. This recipe would also work with ground chicken or turkey.

1 pound of ground pork
1 t. each of garlic powder, thyme, oregano, sage, celery seed, parsley
1/2 t. each of salt and red pepper flakes
(you can adjust these seasonings to your liking)
Mix together and fry in saute pan.

Easy peasy.

Banana Pancakes (and technically, you're not supposed to eat pancakes while on the Whole30, although I'm not sure why???)
My daughter brought this one home from college, and it's become a staple around here.

The basic recipe is 2 ingredients: a small banana and 1 egg. But I thought they needed a little more substance so I beefed them up a little.

Per person, makes 2 pancakes:
1 small banana
1 egg
1 1/2 t. coconut flour
1/4 t. baking soda
Sprinkle of salt
Sprinkle of cinnamon
Few drops of vanilla

Put all ingredients in a blender and pulse a few times to combine. Spray non-stick skillet with coconut oil and cook like regular pancakes. You can add berries or pecans, or top with a crushed and cooked berry mixture.

Love filling up this big table with happy faces!