Times of Refreshing

This year, 2015, has turned out to be just we were hoping for...a year of renewal, refreshing, and spiritual rest. Our first grandbaby, Esther, just celebrated her first birthday last week. She came into the world just as ours was taking a dramatic turn for the better. I have been tempted at times to feel guilty for all this abundance, but I have been reminded to just bask in it, soak it in, and give thanks. There are times of suffering and times of blessing in life, and we must praise God no matter what. 

As I reflect on 2015, I am reminded of some highlights...

Esther & Fam
Esther was born at the end of 2014, and there were several cross-country visits to see her in her early months. But then, Esther, her trusty pooch, Butter and their lovely parents moved to North Carolina and lived in our basement apartment for 3 months! And, as if it couldn't get any better, they bought their first home just 25 SHORT minutes from my home. It has been so amazingly wonderful to live close to my sweet eldest daughter and her family...moments I've longed for since she moved to the west coast 6 years ago. Visits over coffee, long chats in front of my fireplace, frequent dinners together, getting to know her fantastic husband, dog-sitting the grand-dog, worshiping alongside them. My heart would be full even if this were the only good thing that happened this year, but alas, God had so much more in store...

Doing what he loves

The End of the Recession

We went into 2015 expecting great things. We were hoping our suspicions were correct, that the slump in the housing market was coming to an end, and my husband could come back to our family residential contracting business full time. We have prayed and believed for that dream during SEVEN long years of weekly business travel, and in March, Kirk quit his corporate job and came home. Our business is booming, and we have been able to provide employment for 2 other men. We do what we love, helping people build or remodel their homes, and make a living at it, too!

Extended family reconciliation
We have had the wonderful and unexpected privilege of renewing some long lost relationships in our extended family. Sometimes your hope for these things grows weary, and you kind of settle. But God has surprised us with some really amazing and fresh connections with relatives, and more frequent, warm communication with our loved ones. It's never too late!

Congrats, Jessie!

Graduation
We celebrated with our youngest daughter, Jessie as she completed her Bachelor's at Appalachian State in May. She also finally landed an 8-5 real job that she loves and we are so happy for her. She will be paying off her loans and saving for the next phase of life - a new car? a house down payment? travel? We are now feeling like our active parenting is really coming to a close, and I'd say we were officially "empty-nesters" except that our house has been full of family all year! I think having your adult kids live with you for a season is a huge blessing. All of ours have done it for different periods of time and for different reasons, but we love them and love being able to help them however we can. The great thing about it is that they are now mature, they love you, and they are not dependent on your for much at all. You just love being together.

Making their baby announcement!

Dr. and Mr. Metty

Settling in NC

Moves and changes for all our kids

Our daughter-in-law Stacey also had a big graduation from UNC School of Dentistry in May, and practices in Charleston, SC. Jon and Stacey moved there over the summer, where Jon was already working at his dream job. Nathan and his wife, Mary moved back to Greensboro in June as he is back in school full time, working on an engineering degree (all the men in our family will soon be mechanical engineers!). They are expecting Emma in February and we are so excited to have another little girl to love. More baby showers...making room for another Metty!

July 20, 1985

Thirtieth Anniversary

July 20, 1985 was the day we tied the knot...and it's been a glorious 30 years full of adventure, challenge, joy, travel, lots of people and lots of love. Kirk and I went to NYC for a few days of biking, a Yankees game, sailing on the Hudson River, dining on the Upper West Side. Ours is a deep bond, he's my lover and best friend, and it's been so worth the effort to make a great marriage.

Community
Some of the little blessings have come to us through spending time with strangers. We have hosted several AirBnB guests and gotten to know people we would otherwise never meet. We participated in welcoming a Somali refugee family (of 10!) to our area and have learned so much about the great needs of refugees around the world. (Side note: if you ever feel like America is 'going to hell in a hand basket'...think again, and be grateful instead - our country is the most amazing, affluent, democratic, free, opportunity-laden and plentiful place on earth. It won't get any better than this, this side of heaven.) I have begun teaching cooking classes again, and getting to know a whole new crop of 20-somethings. And we just catered and hosted a Christmas party for 75 here at our home for all the staff and spouses at our church.

    

Celebrations

Our latest annual Gingerbread House (is it our 25th?) happened this week, and the house is filled with the sights, sounds and smells of Christmas. Every time I walk in the kitchen, I am met with the cozy aroma of gingerbread. And of course, Esther's first birthday was a week of parties and fun. She has become such a darling, always sweet, good-natured, adventurous, and smiling. There is nothing better than to see her bright eyes greet me when we see each other and for her to reach out to me. She has this way of "hugging" me where she buries her head in my chest and tucks her arms between us, just all scrunchy and cozy! And then when I get the chance to rock her to sleep, singing her favorite song softly as she dozes off...I can't think of a better way to spend 20 minutes doing nothing at all.

photo by Abby Stalsbroten

A prayer: "Thank you Jesus, for coming to earth as a vulnerable baby to bring joy and hope to a dying world. Without you, without your influence on human history, we would be a wretched people. You have brought a glint of heaven to us, and we are so grateful for your gracious gifts of love, family, home, health and joy. And of course the hope of heaven, when all things will be made right, especially for the many who have not enjoyed these things on earth. Come, Lord Jesus, come."

"Radiant beams from thy holy face, with the dawn of redeeming grace..." - Silent Night

Making Lamps

(Just a little disclaimer: this is a VERY amateur attempt at explaining electrical wiring...seek a better resource if you decide to try this!)

Italian sink

Anthro lamp

I first saw this lovely in Anthropologie a few months ago and knew immediately I wanted to reproduce it. My 19 year old daughter/Pinterest-addict was with me, and she expressed how much she loved this lamp! Sounded like a Christmas project to me! I started pondering how to drill holes in porcelain without splitting the teapots and cups into many pieces. I also had to keep Jessie's mind off it, as we wandered in to the store again and again so I could have a second and third and fourth look. We had transformed a large piece of Italian pottery into a sink once, so I knew there was a way. I went to Lowe's and asked for a masonry drill bit (I was secretly thinking that if this didn't work out, I'd ask my dentist, Julia, for one of her old diamond bits...teeth are a lot like porcelain, and besides, she's also really creative and would understand, I was sure). I was able to find one that would drill the perfect sized hole for the wiring.

My dear Dad is one of those men who can do just about anything, and he became my tutor for this hair-brained idea. After scouring every Home Goods store in the area, I collected enough white teapots, teacups, saucers, creamers, sugar bowls, etc. that I would need to create four lamps, all of them just a little different, but all about the same size. I went to Lowe's again and gathered the lamp "guts"... all the components that make a lamp, well, a lamp - bulb sockets, harps, long pieces of threaded pipe, cheap extension cords which I used for the wiring and plug. Dad showed me everything from how to run his drill press (slowly and patiently so as not to crack the porcelain) to how to do the wiring. He was also kind enough to make some masonite bases so that the cord wouldn't cause the lamp to be uneven on the bottom. 

Wiring 101

So, here we go. To wire a lamp, you will need:

• a bulb socket with the type of switch you prefer
• an inexpensive extension cord (cheaper than buying a length of insulated wiring)
• a length of threaded pipe for lamps
• a package of nuts and washers to fit the pipe
• a harp unit (two pieces)
• wire cutters/strippers
• two small screwdrivers, one Phillips and one flat head

Begin by cutting the "female" end of the extension cord off with the wire cutters. Discard this. The cord will have two sections. Pull them apart about 2" down. Strip the insulation off to expose the bare copper wires. Twist the copper wires (there will be many of them in each chamber of the cord) tightly clockwise, so that you have two groups of wires. Now you have a length of cord with a plug (the "male" end) at the end. This will serve as the main wiring unit for your lamp. 

Thread the cord through the length of pipe, which has a nut, the harp base, and the bottom-most portion of the socket already screwed on the top, in that order. 

(This photo shows the socket already wired which we will cover in the next paragraph.)

Now, work with the bulb socket. The socket comes apart; separate the components into three sections until you have this one alone:

   

Notice that there are two screws on the sides; one opposite the switch and one 90 degrees to it. Loosen these with a screwdriver. 

Re-twist the copper wires if necessary after threading through the pipe, tightly clockwise, so that you are working with two groups of wires. Each group will be twisted around a screw on the socket. Wrap the twisted wires clockwise around each of the screws, one twisted group of wires to one screw. Tighten screws. Place the top third over the wiring and switch, then those two sections of the bulb socket into its bottom piece which is already screwed onto the pipe.

    

The Scary Part

Now, place a bulb into the socket, plug it in, and turn the switch...if the bulb lights up (and you don't get a shock!), you've wired it correctly! Congratulations! It's a pretty awesome feeling, huh? I feel like I should get an "A" from my seventh-grade science teacher...remember that unit on electricity, and the commensurate science fair projects? 

                                       

Now you can send the long piece of threaded pipe through whatever you want to use as a decorative lamp base...in this case, teapots, cups and saucers. Super glue gel was my best friend in this project. It held all the components together so well, and didn't take long to set up. 

Cuteness!

In the process of making the ones for the girls, we were celebrating my dear friend Ana's 50th birthday. She and her husband invested 7 years of their lives living far from home to launch a church in Krakow. She has collected pottery from a town nearby, and I have seen it in stores around here. So I was able to get enough pieces to create a lamp for her, too, and celebrated her as a "light" to Poland for all those years at her party. The blues and florals in this pottery make a really beautiful piece. And it holds special meaning for her family.

Final Touches

I had several lids from creamers that were super-cute, so I really wanted to try to fashion some finials for the lampshades. I bought inexpensive metal finials from Lowe's and super-glued the top of each to a good-sized nut, so that there would be a flat surface on which to glue the creamer lid. When that was dry, I glued it inside the lid...all of this involved some stabilizing using spools of ribbon or tape. In the end, I had some really cute finials! I didn't purchase shades for each lamp, so that the girls could choose their own, but I "practiced" with one I had around the house. But there are tons of adorable shades at Lowe's, Home Goods, and other places right now. 

             

I couldn't wait til Christmas. Plus, my oldest daughter was going to get hers in the mail, and I wouldn't get to see her reaction. So I gave them out when everyone was here for Thanksgiving. It was a climactic moment when they opened their boxes! Such fun!

             

A Son's Wedding

Well, it happened. We married off one of our children. Our second-born, Jon married Stacey a week before Christmas in a lovely outdoor ceremony. It was a beautiful moment in time; a life-time of reward in one 30 minute ceremony. When your kids are young, their weddings seem so far away. On those days when they are throwing things at their little brothers or forgetting to do their Chemistry homework, a mother wonders if they will ever be mature and responsible enough to be married. So it is quite rewarding to watch that son grow into maturity, taking on responsibility for themselves, loving a woman, and asking her to be his partner for life. The words spoken on that day are for life, and a covenant is made. It was a momentous day, full of tears and joy and laughter. I laid my head on my husband's shoulder as Stacey walked down the aisle with her dad, and tried to drink in the moment. My handsome son was up front watching with baited breath as his beautiful bride came to him on her daddy's arm. They gazed into each others eyes and committed themselves for life. They prayed together and exchanged rings. Then we ate and danced and sent them off on their new life together. They have set up housekeeping nearby, and are just so adorable.

As a mom, I just continue to revel in the blessing. We sometimes go through very rough times watching our children grow up. They can make really bad decisions and we hate to see them suffer. We hope for the best in their lives, but they sometimes choose the worst for themselves. We spend countless hours on our knees, asking God to protect them and preserve them for His purposes. We watch them hurt other people in their immaturity and hold our breath until they make it right.

But then, they blossom. They start to say "thank you" more often. They offer to help. They pay for your lunch out together. They apologize. They become good citizens. They serve their community. They lead others. It's just amazing.

So far, my fondest memory of the last few weeks has been one afternoon when I had stopped by Jon and Stacey's apartment. Jon was home, but Stacey was still on her way. He looked out of the window the same time Stacey's bus pulled up some distance away. He said, "oh, there's her bus. Hmmm, I wonder if she'll come right home or if she'll stop and pick up the mail. Oh, she's taking the shortcut." He watched her every move, all the way to the apartment door, then he eagerly opened it, kissed her hello and brought her in from the cold. It was absolutely precious. So much love. I am so proud of him. And so happy for them both.

The Annual Gingerbread House

For the last 22 years, our family has built a gingerbread creation...not always technically a "house" but everything from a Swiss chalet to an igloo to a church. The castle makes its recurrent appearance, this year being one of them. Seems the baby of the family couldn't shake the dream of building a castle this time, and since she's technically the only one still living at home (some of the year), we decided she should have the final say on its design. Other contenders were a Gingerbread Beach Condo and a Gingerbread Yurt - ??? (Our daughter Abby travels internationally a lot for work...so I think she had some exotic rendition in mind...)

So, castle with four turrets, crenelations and a central tower it is. A few years ago Abby put together this video about the process. It has become a family tradition, though as one can see in the video, a bit of a drudgery to Pops Metty. But he loves all the attention his whining brings him. :) This year's was an epic event with lots of extra "Mettys" around to help, give advice, and just eat up the candy. It has become a well-known annual event among those who know us, and each November when the Christmas decorations start coming out o f the attic, I start getting asked, "what's the gingerbread design this year?"

I kept a book called, Let's Make a Memory, by Shirley Dobson on my shelf for the first several years of my marriage. In it, Mrs. Dobson encourages women as keepers of the home, to establish traditions that will draw all family members into a unit. Finding things that everyone enjoys and looks forward to each year is sometimes tricky. You could start doing something that is fun the first year, but no one wants to do it again. Or it's too expensive. Or no one liked it the first year! Holidays are great times of establishing these heartwarming rituals and help to create a unique personality for each family. Have you ever noticed that a home has a personality? Some homes are tense. Some are peaceful. Some fun, or loud, or sad. I have heard it said (and want it for my home!) that laughter should fill the walls.

I strongly believe that this is one of the chief roles a woman plays in her family. She is the one that sets the tone, that builds the emotional intimacy, that is the gatekeeper of influence. We often say, "when Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." This is true. But when Mama sets a happy tone in her home, then it is easier for the others to fall in line. Ladies, be proactive about this. If we let the personality of our homes just 'happen,' then it is easy for negativity, criticism, and strife to exist. But if we can be intentional about building our homes, we can pass along a wonderful heritage to our children, and create a place where others will want to come and find rest. That, to me, is the true meaning of hospitality. Making your home a place of refreshment and peace. So many people need this in our world.

To wax philosophical for just a moment: our gingerbread creations may look good on the outside, full of candy and sugar. But they are always empty on the inside; no one lives there, and they sit lonely on the dining room table for weeks after they are built. I want my home to be beautiful, but I wouldn't trade the noisy, busy, fun place that it is for all the finery of a glitzy house. I always want it to be full of people, sharing our lives together.