A Spring Full of Change

Our entire family with both sets of grandparents

I just noticed that my last post was February 19th, and it seems like a year's worth of exciting changes have taken place in that 3 month period. I am so full of blessing right now,  I could burst. I know that these sweet seasons of life don't always last for long, so I am committed to savoring this one. I have a tendency to let myself feel guilty when I am experiencing good things, because I know so many people are struggling. But I have also been in those tough seasons, and when life is good, it can be a time of sharing and letting your overflow lift others up. So I hope that someone will be encouraged as they read about our spring.

We welcomed our first grandbaby, Esther into the family in December, born in Seattle. We were delighted to learn that her parents planned to move to North Carolina in April. I was able to take another trip to Washington to help them move (aka, hold Esther while they packed and loaded the truck). I. Can. Not. Imagine - being here while Esther grows up in another state. I know that this is a likelihood in my future (that at least some of my future grandkids will live far away) but from the time I first held her, I've known about them moving here so I've always felt pretty relaxed about not having to say goodbye. Esther is a sweet, sweet baby who smiles and laughs easily and is just incredibly cute all the time. I love having her in my home so much. And of course her mama and daddy.

Love having ALL my kids here!

About the same time we were welcoming our daughter's family, my husband had a huge breakthrough in his extended family relationships. I don't want to go into details on this public forum, but suffice it to say that 35 years of struggle has become a delightful and blessing-filled relationship. The joy and relief related to this reconciliation is beyond words. It has taught us both that nothing is ever impossible, it is never too late, and hope for any situation is always a possibility. It has given me hope for many other situations.

Motorcycle ride on the Blue Ridge Parkway

And after 7 years of travel and trying to hold our building business together, Kirk was able to leave his corporate engineering job and come back to our company full-time. We have had an unprecedented spring in terms of contacts and leads, so much so that leaving his j-o-b was a no-brainer. I have not seen my husband so happy getting dirty and sweaty all day for so, so long. He wakes up at 5:30 every morning excited to put his hands to the work he loves so much, and then sleeps deeply and peacefully every night. I love so much having him home, cooking for him, taking walks with him, watching him work. We are like newlyweds again and spend every minute together we can.

       

Another family dinner

Our sons have both moved on to new phases of their lives as well. Our older son and his freshly minted dentist of a wife have bought their first home in their new city. Our younger son and his wife are moving this week to a new town where he will return to school to pick up a second degree. Big decisions for both of them, but it is so rewarding to see them growing into such fine men.

ASU graduation

And our baby girl graduated from college Mother's Day weekend. She is temporarily living at home as she looks for a job, but we love having her delightful self around.

Good and deep lifetime friendships abound. We are in good health. Our vehicles are running well. We have more than enough in so many areas of our lives. Our home has been full of visitors this spring, and we have hosted so many interesting people. I was reading through our guest book the other day and reflecting on the privilege of hosting the world here for overnight stays and meals. Our guests have been from South Africa, Scotland, California, Poland, Nashville, Washington, New Hampshire, Italy, Swaziland, New York City, Korea, Uganda, Texas, Florida, and on and on. Students, professors, pastors, worship leaders, missionaries, orphans, families, friends old and new. This is certainly one area where it is possible to let this overflow spill out to bring refreshment to others. So many people need a restful, quiet place to recharge, and we can provide this.

I am grateful.

Esther and The Guv'nah

History of this Casalinga

So...casalinga means "housewife" or "homemaker" in Italian. I like "homemaker" better, because I feel that best describes my chosen vocation. I spent four years preparing for a career in education, did indeed pursue it for a while, but then got married and started having babies, and found that I really loved being a full time homemaker. We decided to make a go of just one income, and with some financial discipline have managed to do just that. We drive used cars, have kept Christmas and vacations modest (by American standards, anyway) and could write the book on DIY. Our lives have been full and rich in experiences, and I have no regrets. 

When our kids moved into their teen years, we decided to start a home building business. My husband left the perceived "security" of a corporate job, acquired his general contractor's license and we started remodeling homes. Then we had the opportunity to build a few custom homes and found we loved doing that together. I am the form and he is the function - I bring the design element to the building process, while he handles the nuts and bolts and finances.


I have no formal training in design, but over the years have learned by experience. I possess skills as a seamstress and have worked with fabric to design and fabricate window treatments and other interior design essentials. We've remodeled numerous parts of our homes over the years and learned a lot by trial and error. Built furniture. Painted countless rooms. Re-upholstered the same chair three times. And now, we've built over 30 custom homes and counting.
So, it dawned on me recently that my dream has always been to be a home-maker...not just making my own home, but literally making homes for other people. I remember as a kid finding a book of house plans in a new section of our neighborhood and being fascinated by the drawings and floor plans...studying the layout, imagining which room could be mine. I even sketched in furniture as I dreamed about this being our new home. I probably should have studied architecture. Little did I know this child's fantasy would become my passion.

My husband actually holds the general contractor's license, but since the slump in home sales, he has been pretty busy doing some industrial construction management in Puerto Rico. I have had to 'hold the fort down' so-to-speak in our residential business for a year or so. I consult with him and together we get it done. But it is a man's world, this world of construction, and my skills and patience have been taxed. I sometimes feel overwhelmed trying to manage everything from selecting tile, carpet, paint and light fixtures (the part I love) to supervising cranky grading contractors and scheduling inspections (the part I don't love). I am very grateful for the work and that we are still operating even in the midst of a really tough housing market, but there are times...

Some of my most memorable moments working as a woman in a man's world include:

• Blushing openly when a landscaping contractor turned to face me with a T-shirt that read...well, I probably shouldn't print what it said. :)
• Pulling up to a noisy job site, so noisy that my approaching car wasn't noticed, and watching a contractor walk from behind his truck zipping up his pants. There WAS a port-a-potty on site...
• Finding a beheaded mouse inside one of our projects.
• Asking a big strong man to help scoop said mouse outside with his shovel and grinning when he said he was kind of squeamish; I promptly asked for his shovel to do it myself. His foreman thankfully jumped in and relieved me of the grim task. 
• Finding a nearly beheaded rabbit, ears missing, in another house. This time though, there was no one to rescue me. I had to take care of it myself. Yuck. 
• Seeing way more proverbial plumber's pants than I ever care to. 
• Walking into a house to find blood all over one of the floors...one of the guys had sustained a serious cut the day before and needed stitches. I was worried the clients would see it and freak out.
• Finding an escaped cow standing in front of the port-a-potty (waiting his turn?).
• Removing the long-dead carcass of a baby deer from under a set of stairs (are you getting the impression we don't build in the city?). 
• Being flirted with many times. It's been tricky to maintain my feminine identity while trying to be the tough guy/boss/payer-of-paychecks. I'm pretty sure a guy named Jose called me "mi Amor" the other day. 
• Having to pay a sub-contractor for a really crappy job and asking him to leave the premises, because I felt very unsafe being alone with him and his crew on the site.
• Enduring man-gossip...oh, yes they gossip and LOVE to talk about the other contractors they work with, complete with racial slurs, petty grievances, and lots of four-letter words. 

And I won't go into the ticks, mud, sheetrock dust, etc. that is a daily part of this world. I don't even think about wearing cute shoes to work. 

But what I actually do enjoy is seeing a job well-done and being able to openly and honestly praise the workers for their fine craftsmanship. I don't think men generally lavish that sort of thanks on other men, and as a woman I find I am quite comfortable doing that. I think the guys appreciate it, too, and they will work with a little spring in their step for me in the future. I also like carrying on the fine reputation my husband has established by paying our bills on time. A lot of people in the construction industry live paycheck to paycheck and it is my pleasure to pay them when they ask for it. 

I also love working with happy clients. Helping them make their home and build their dreams is supremely satisfying. Some are easier than others, but generally it's really fun to help people express their creativity in the place they will call home.