Becoming Nana

Everything they say about it is true...being a grandmother is pretty great. I'm new at this, since December 10th, but so far I'm quite smitten with that little bundle of joy, that warm little loaf of bread. Tiny Esther is just perfect, and she loves to be snuggled and she hardly cries, and it's all just delightful. I've been blessed to have visited with her for 3 out of her 5 weeks of life, and I'm missing her like crazy now that I'm home.

 She slept through her first bath, and then
promptly pooped in her clean towel! 

Tiny delicate perfect fingers... 

...and toes!

These first few weeks have been pretty challenging for Abby and Dave; Esther's been a champion sleeper, pooper, eater and all-around A+ newborn. But her entrance into this world was anything but smooth. Abby had a long labor, and 5.5 hours of pushing, only to have an emergency situation at the very end with a ruptured umbilical cord and hemorrhaging. The midwife literally saved her life. She's had to be diligent about fluid intake and rest because of this trauma and all the demands of labor, delivery, postpartum care and breastfeeding. The emotional toll on Dave has been rough as well, as he stood helplessly watching as his wife began to lose consciousness and his baby's life was in danger. We all thank God daily for sparing Abby and Esther's lives, and bringing them home to be cared for, safe and sound. Dave's doctor/nurse parents are so wonderful and cared for Abby, too, checking her blood pressure and watching over her very carefully those first few days.

Because of all this, I couldn't wait to get out to Seattle and do whatever was needed for them...it was pure joy to tiptoe into their room early each morning when Dave texted my cue, and take Esther for some Nana time. We sat together and sang, prayed and chatted about life for a few hours while Mama and Daddy slept. Then I'd change her diaper, place her in her mother's arms for a feeding, make breakfast, and do some laundry. When Abby got Esther back to sleep, she'd get up for a few minutes and I'd change her sheets and make their bed so she'd have a fresh place to spend the day - total bed rest for over a week, midwife's orders! I spent long hours sitting with Abby and Esther on her bed just talking, rubbing her feet, watching Jimmy Fallon videos and just having a lovely, restful time getting to know the baby. I put away lots of baby gifts, re-arranged the abundant food from friends in the frig, went to the grocery store and brought lattes and pastries back from the local coffee shop. I even walked Butter a few times...but she was a turd most of the time. She even had the nerve to strain her ACL (can that even happen to dogs???) on a run with Dave, and we had to send her to Bestemor's house in Anacortes to recover without being all up in the middle of Abby's recovery. Bestemor and Farfar...that's Norwegian for Grandma and Grandpa Stalsbroten. :)

I took a red-eye December 23rd, staying a few more days than planned because Abby just wasn't up and around yet, and arrived home in time to hit the ground running on Christmas Eve. My family here made sure to have all our traditions in place, taking over all my 'duties' to make it special. I just love them all. My husband and youngest daughter and I were able to return to Seattle to celebrate Esther's dedication to God at church last week. If course, they are in love, too. J-Nasty and The Guvnah, apparently. We'll see. 

                   

I sewed a dress for Esther's church dedication service, made from pieces of three wedding dresses: Abby's, Dave's mom's, and mine. It was a special weekend with the extended family and so great to see that Abby was up and around and almost back to her old self. Esther is a much loved baby, with a wonderful heritage of family. She is named after her paternal great-grandmother, who was an incredible woman, missionary and overcomer. 

Everyone commented about what a superwoman Abby was through that lengthy childbirth experience. She did it all without any drugs, and even endured a life-threatening situation like a champ. I am so, so proud of her, of the amazing woman she has become, and I admire her greatly. She has been so faithful to take care of herself, so she can take care of her baby, and has obeyed midwives' orders religiously. She is a great mom already! And it is sheer joy to see what a loving father and husband Dave is. I feel full to overflowing when I see how God has taken care of my family in so many ways.

Nana, Mama and Esther

The Sisterhood of Motherhood

My lovely darling firstborn has been in labor all day to bring their first baby into the world. A girl, whose first name begins with an "E" and that's all I know. She will be our first grandbaby, and we couldn't be more thrilled.

Of course, I've been thinking about Abby all day, about my own labor bringing her into the world, and wishing I could be with her, help her through it, relieve her of the pain, and experience it up close and personal...not that she would want me that close! I just received a text from her husband that she was in transition and it's been about 15 hours since her water broke at bedtime last night. He said she had gotten sick, which is normal at this stage of labor, but I hate that she is having any discomfort...I feel like that 1960s expectant dad who paced the floor of the maternity wing waiting room!

As I took a walk this morning, I was pondering this life transition for Abby. She will soon join me in the Sisterhood of Motherhood. She will understand things about me that only a mother can understand. What it's like to brave the likes of labor and delivery to bring a precious little one into the world. What it's like to have such a strong love and sense of protection over the tiniest, most beautiful human being you've ever seen. To know that only you can give her what she needs. To feel the most intense sense of responsibility and a love that can actually hurt. And the huge boost in self-confidence she will experience knowing that she did this. She beasted the pain and pushing. That baby girl will need Abby like nobody ever needed her. We will share that same level of emotion, a hard won accomplishment of labor and delivery.

I know that shortly, there will be a call that it is all over, and Baby E is in Abby's arms. But gosh, the wait!

UPDATE: Esther Natalia was born at 9 pm last night, after a long, difficult labor. But she is perfect and nursing like a pro. Now is time for rest, rest, rest. I will leave tomorrow morning bright and early to spend 10 days with them...Can't wait to snuggle them and cook lots of amazing meals for them!

Bart

We knew it was coming. Three of our kids have gotten married since December 2011, so it was just a matter of time, and apparently now is the time...the next generation is on its way! We are going to be grandparents!

Our daughter, Abby and her husband Dave are expecting a girl in early December and we are so excited. She suffered a miscarriage back in the fall of last year, and she wrote about her experience here. So with each month that passed, we were hopeful with her and Dave that there would be new life. She happened to be visiting us here when she took the pregnancy test in late March that revealed a little magic + sign, and we were cautiously optimistic. That was a really special moment for Abby and me, and then because her sister and dad were home then, too, she shared it with them. They kept it under wraps from most until she made it through the first 12 weeks. She's had a pretty easy time of it so far, so there wasn't any morning sickness to have to explain away to her friends.

My husband immediately started referring to the baby as "Bart" for no apparent reason, and continued for months to insist it was a boy (boy, was he ever wrong). And we've had lots of fun with the name game, since it won't be us naming the baby. Back when Bart was in fashion, we thought they could name him Bart Orca Samson Stalsbroten and then his initials would be BOSS. Abby has a fascination with orcas, so we thought that might work. Maybe Baby #2.

"Woman with a baby"

Our family went to the beach together for a few days at the end of May, and Abby decided to share the news with her brothers and their wives then. We took clandestine photos of the belly. And Abby's, too. Somehow Dave can poke his belly out so far, even though he sports a healthy six-pack most of the time!

I'll be Nana, I think, but Kirk is still pondering what he wants to be called. For years, he thought it would be cool to be called The Gov'nah. I keep thinking he should be Pops. Or Poppy. Now he's got it in his head to be The Boss. We'll see.

I know people have babies all the time, but I am just so amazed at the prospect of another generation. Of our people. Adding more people to the family. Multiplying the love. To think that your baby is having a baby...it's a wonder. I've prayed for this little girl as she is growing and changing everyday, and it's so fun to hear about all of Abby's experiences. She and I are sharing a unique experience. Jessie will come in time, surely. But for now, Abby is feeling all that stuff I felt 28+ years ago with her. She's been great about sending photos and telling me about feeling Baby Girl move and kick.

Can't wait to dress that little darlin' up!

We've been feeling for a while that we were "ready" for grandkids. These are the hopes we've shared as we look forward to this phase of life:

• Little ones running around our house, getting into our pantry and making messes
• Making bread and pasta and cookies together
• Carting the kids around in our yard trailer on the back of our mower
• Babies, toddlers, preschoolers and children curled up on our laps, reading all our incredible children's books again and again
• Early morning snuggles and bedtime prayers
• Camping in the backyard
• Nana Camp, and giving Mom and Dad a break for a week or so each summer
• Hearing the kids ask "tell me the story of when..." and then watching my husband spin some exaggerated version of the truth
• Building a tree house
• Introducing them to all the things we love... the beach, sewing, nature hikes, thunderstorms, the workshop, riding bikes, and fall in the mountains
• And, sharing faith with another generation!

Preparing your Kids for Adulthood

I just finished reading another blog written by a stay-at-home-mom about the challenges of living on one income. I wrote about this in our lives, too. I am thankful that my husband worked hard and studied engineering, for it has made him a marketable employee, and afforded us the opportunity to live comfortably on just his paycheck. I also prepared for a professional career and it was sufficient to support me as a single woman during that phase of my life. I appreciate our parents edging us along in these directions. In generations past, this was common. Parents didn't feel their job was to help their kids discover themselves; it was a more pragmatic task of getting them out the door and employable!

I would like to talk to Moms and Dads about helping your children prepare for their adult life in this very practical way. I hear very little about this job that parents have, instead hearing about the day to day struggles that we all seemed to drown in, and thus losing focus on the big picture. The big picture is this: your children are born into your family and stay with you for about 18-20 years, and then leave you to lead their own homes. Their time in your home is all too brief (as I have written about here) but it is easy for young parents to feel like it might last forever due to sheer exhaustion. If you don't keep the big picture in mind, you will miss opportunities to help shape your children's career choices and thus their ability to support themselves financially.

Most Christian parents are well aware of their duty to help shape their kids' spiritual lives, and we are quite intentional about that. That is good. But there is another job we have that is quite important, too.

One of our main jobs as parents is to help our kids know what they want to do with their lives, how they can earn a living and be responsible, capable, independent adults. I know I am going to step on some toes here, but encouraging (and then paying for) your children to go to college and major in something that has absolutely no direct correlation to preparing them for a career is irresponsible parenting. By the time your sons and daughters leave home, for work or college, they should know a few things about themselves and about the world:

• What are my gifts and talents? What am I really good at?
• What do I love doing? What energizes me?
• Am I introverted or extroverted (or a little of both) and what bearing does that have on my career options/choices?
• Do I know what hard work really is?
• What careers are available to me with my interests?
• Is there a way for me to mesh the things I enjoy doing with a way to earn money?
• What do I need to do to prepare myself for the marketplace?
• What experiences can I gain to make me more marketable?
• Is this career I'm considering a solid one with a good future, and adequate pay? 

Jessie at one of her retail jobs

     

Abby is a journalist

Our sons 'working' for us

The sad tale of scores of unemployed (and maybe unemployable) university graduates is a serious one. So many of our kids' friends have never had a job of any kind, and yet have traveled the world and hold a bachelor's degree in...something...maybe grad school would help? So more debt is incurred, still with the student wondering what they will do with their lives. They continue to live on the generosity of their parents, and postpone serious relationships and marriage, because they haven't really grown up. 

It's a real dog-eat-dog world out there; the world is not impressed with your young adult's amazing summer in China if it does not make the potential employer's company more profitable. 

Parents must not coddle their teens in this area. Let them enjoy being a teen, but help them transition to the work world by requiring them to get a part-time job. Help them understand what it takes to be independent by asking them to pay for their own car insurance and gas. Encourage them to make good financial decisions by helping them budget their money. By the time they graduate from high school, they should have some years of work experience, lots of confidence and some savings. This will put them miles ahead of many of their peers. 

It's difficult to lead your family this way, especially if their friends at school and church aren't raised this way. I can remember many a tough conversation with our kids about why we wouldn't pay for their insurance or their phones, and those conversations always ended with, "I am responsible to stand before God for how I raised you, not so-and-so's parents."

Bankruptcy is not an option!

So parents, embrace this God-given role and help your kids find what they are good at, passionate about and interested in. Lead them in making a good career choice and a plan to prepare for it. It is possible to live on just one income, but it needs to be sufficient income to support a new household. 

And if you are one of those students whose parents didn't help you in this way, find someone who will mentor you. This list for 20-somethings was great, and includes a lot of the things mentioned in this post. If you didn't take these life lessons away from your parents, then now is the time to make them yours. 

Breakfast in Bed

I love making breakfast for my loved ones. Whenever my kids had a birthday, I always let them choose their favorites for breakfast and dinner. And sometimes, they got it served on a tray! My college girl loves to be babied. Since she is the youngest, she flows in this role well; it comes naturally to her, and since I'm such a mother hen, I love doing it for her. So, when she is home, even if it's not her birthday, I sometimes make her breakfast in bed. This morning is her last morning home before she heads back to school, so I thought it was an appropriate morning for some princess treatment. 

I had this idea in my head to make french toast, but I had some perfectly ripe peaches and was trying to think how I could make a protein rich peach french toast combo...and I came up with a baked french toast casserole with peaches and blueberries. Add some OJ, fresh fruit and a little daisy on a silver tray, and even Snow White would be impressed. 

Peach and Blueberry French Toast Casserole

5 eggs

2 cups milk

1 t. vanilla (although I use 1/4 t. of my favorite super-concentrated Haitian vanilla)

1 t. cinnamon

1/4 t. salt

12 slices high protein bread (I used Sprouted Wheat Whole Grain), crusts removed

2 ripe peaches

1 c fresh blueberries

4 T butter

sprinkling of cinnamon sugar

Dice the bread and place in a buttered casserole dish with peeled/diced peaches and blueberries. Mix eggs, milk, vanilla, cinnamon and salt together. Pour over bread/fruit mixture. Mix well to be sure bread has absorbed liquid. Melt butter; drizzle over all and sprinkle with cinnamon sugar. Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes. 

                   

I'm glad Jessie appreciates things like this. I'm up way to early for anyone to be able to do this for me, but I love doing it for others. Though I will say, I do love me some cappuccino in bed...hint, hint to any family members out there reading. :)

Making Lamps

(Just a little disclaimer: this is a VERY amateur attempt at explaining electrical wiring...seek a better resource if you decide to try this!)

Italian sink

Anthro lamp

I first saw this lovely in Anthropologie a few months ago and knew immediately I wanted to reproduce it. My 19 year old daughter/Pinterest-addict was with me, and she expressed how much she loved this lamp! Sounded like a Christmas project to me! I started pondering how to drill holes in porcelain without splitting the teapots and cups into many pieces. I also had to keep Jessie's mind off it, as we wandered in to the store again and again so I could have a second and third and fourth look. We had transformed a large piece of Italian pottery into a sink once, so I knew there was a way. I went to Lowe's and asked for a masonry drill bit (I was secretly thinking that if this didn't work out, I'd ask my dentist, Julia, for one of her old diamond bits...teeth are a lot like porcelain, and besides, she's also really creative and would understand, I was sure). I was able to find one that would drill the perfect sized hole for the wiring.

My dear Dad is one of those men who can do just about anything, and he became my tutor for this hair-brained idea. After scouring every Home Goods store in the area, I collected enough white teapots, teacups, saucers, creamers, sugar bowls, etc. that I would need to create four lamps, all of them just a little different, but all about the same size. I went to Lowe's again and gathered the lamp "guts"... all the components that make a lamp, well, a lamp - bulb sockets, harps, long pieces of threaded pipe, cheap extension cords which I used for the wiring and plug. Dad showed me everything from how to run his drill press (slowly and patiently so as not to crack the porcelain) to how to do the wiring. He was also kind enough to make some masonite bases so that the cord wouldn't cause the lamp to be uneven on the bottom. 

Wiring 101

So, here we go. To wire a lamp, you will need:

• a bulb socket with the type of switch you prefer
• an inexpensive extension cord (cheaper than buying a length of insulated wiring)
• a length of threaded pipe for lamps
• a package of nuts and washers to fit the pipe
• a harp unit (two pieces)
• wire cutters/strippers
• two small screwdrivers, one Phillips and one flat head

Begin by cutting the "female" end of the extension cord off with the wire cutters. Discard this. The cord will have two sections. Pull them apart about 2" down. Strip the insulation off to expose the bare copper wires. Twist the copper wires (there will be many of them in each chamber of the cord) tightly clockwise, so that you have two groups of wires. Now you have a length of cord with a plug (the "male" end) at the end. This will serve as the main wiring unit for your lamp. 

Thread the cord through the length of pipe, which has a nut, the harp base, and the bottom-most portion of the socket already screwed on the top, in that order. 

(This photo shows the socket already wired which we will cover in the next paragraph.)

Now, work with the bulb socket. The socket comes apart; separate the components into three sections until you have this one alone:

   

Notice that there are two screws on the sides; one opposite the switch and one 90 degrees to it. Loosen these with a screwdriver. 

Re-twist the copper wires if necessary after threading through the pipe, tightly clockwise, so that you are working with two groups of wires. Each group will be twisted around a screw on the socket. Wrap the twisted wires clockwise around each of the screws, one twisted group of wires to one screw. Tighten screws. Place the top third over the wiring and switch, then those two sections of the bulb socket into its bottom piece which is already screwed onto the pipe.

    

The Scary Part

Now, place a bulb into the socket, plug it in, and turn the switch...if the bulb lights up (and you don't get a shock!), you've wired it correctly! Congratulations! It's a pretty awesome feeling, huh? I feel like I should get an "A" from my seventh-grade science teacher...remember that unit on electricity, and the commensurate science fair projects? 

                                       

Now you can send the long piece of threaded pipe through whatever you want to use as a decorative lamp base...in this case, teapots, cups and saucers. Super glue gel was my best friend in this project. It held all the components together so well, and didn't take long to set up. 

Cuteness!

In the process of making the ones for the girls, we were celebrating my dear friend Ana's 50th birthday. She and her husband invested 7 years of their lives living far from home to launch a church in Krakow. She has collected pottery from a town nearby, and I have seen it in stores around here. So I was able to get enough pieces to create a lamp for her, too, and celebrated her as a "light" to Poland for all those years at her party. The blues and florals in this pottery make a really beautiful piece. And it holds special meaning for her family.

Final Touches

I had several lids from creamers that were super-cute, so I really wanted to try to fashion some finials for the lampshades. I bought inexpensive metal finials from Lowe's and super-glued the top of each to a good-sized nut, so that there would be a flat surface on which to glue the creamer lid. When that was dry, I glued it inside the lid...all of this involved some stabilizing using spools of ribbon or tape. In the end, I had some really cute finials! I didn't purchase shades for each lamp, so that the girls could choose their own, but I "practiced" with one I had around the house. But there are tons of adorable shades at Lowe's, Home Goods, and other places right now. 

             

I couldn't wait til Christmas. Plus, my oldest daughter was going to get hers in the mail, and I wouldn't get to see her reaction. So I gave them out when everyone was here for Thanksgiving. It was a climactic moment when they opened their boxes! Such fun!