Friendships, Old & New

I have been pondering the importance of my friendships with women lately...good ones that span decades are so rare in our day and age, and I treasure those that have stood the test of time. And I'm not talking about my Facebook friendships. Real ones. Ones that sit and cry with you when you suffer loss or are struggling. Ladies that rejoice with you when good things happen in your family. Friends that are on the same page in life, marriage, faith and family. God has given me several people like this and each one is a treasure to be carefully guarded. My friend Becca is one of these people. She has TEN kids, is a gifted wife, mom and friend to many. (You can have a lovely peek into how she does it here.) Her oldest daughter and my youngest daughter are besties for life. They are both in college now, and Becca and I miss our girls all the time...they have become our good friends as they have matured.

Ellie, Mary Kate, & Caroline

But she's got lots more kiddos at home still, and these three lovelies round out the female contingent of their tribe. When my kids (and I only have 4) were younger, Becca and I were both home schooling. She is still in the thick of it with the last 4 or 5 children, but mine are all out of the house and in college or married. Our families have known each other a long, long time, and I love that these girls wanted to come and hang out with me while their parents were out of town. We had a little sleepover and had some fun learning new things. I felt like a home school mom again! I guess in a way, I was their substitute teacher for the day.

When they arrived, it was close to dinner time, so we commenced making pasta. With me, everything is a learning opportunity (our home school motto was "Always Learning!" and we were constantly repeating that phrase, much to our children's chagrin, I'm sure) so I thought making pasta would be a fun and practical way to make dinner together. I've written about making pasta several times on this blog, so I won't go into the details, but just share these fun photos of our floury adventure.

Mary Kate learned some knife skills and helped make a filling. Ellie and Caroline became pretty adept at shaping, filling, sealing and cutting ravioli and tortellini.

    

Bedtime, and 8-year-old Mary Kate made herself a little perch, like the princess that she is. No fear at all about sleeping in a new place, in a big bed all by herself! She just got out her Bible, set a lamp on the bed and settled herself in. In the morning, she made up her bed and left the room spotless. I noticed that she enjoyed most of the treats in the "Welcome" basket, too. ;)

In the morning, we had breakfast together, and started working on a little bit of schoolwork. It was mostly fun, though, and we decided that we covered the following subjects:

• Home Economics (pasta making, knife skills, crochet lesson)
• PE (we walked around Pittsboro from our lunch venue to the building permit office in the COLD)
• Math (we had to calculate the egg-flour ratio per person)
• Writing (I had the girls write guest posts for this blog about their experiences - see below!)
• Creative Arts (I am getting ready to start construction on a new home for our neighborhood, so Caroline, Ellie and Mary Kate each made a plan for the exterior finishes, choosing siding, windows, stone, roof shingles and paint colors)
• Italian (we discussed culture and language and learned a few new words like macchina di pasta, al dente, and molto bene! As you will see below, the concept of al dente - 'to the tooth' made a huge impression!)

Here is what the girls had to say about making pasta:

"I didn't think making pasta was so fun if you don't know what you're doing. Having Mrs. Metty guide me and my siblings through all the steps made me enjoy cooking so much more. I loved making the dough for the pasta and putting it in the pasta machine. The best part was eating it! It wasn't crunchy or soggy but just right! I don't think I have ever eaten better pasta before!"

"My favorite thing about making pasta was sending the dough through the machine. It took a while for me to get it right but soon it got more fun. The ravioli was really fun. I liked the part when you wrapped it up in the dough. It tasted fantastic especially when Mrs. Metty put the oil on it. I am soooo glad I got to make it with Mrs. Metty. She is such a good cook." (aw, thanks!)

"My favorite thing I liked about making pasta was that the ravioli was sweet and noodle-y. The thing I liked about the pasta was it had a little bite to it and it was just so, so good. All of it was so good."

I have a chalkboard wall in my bonus room and invited the girls to clean it up and leave a new message...I love what they decided to write! 

I loved getting to know these three darlings just a little bit more on this visit. I feel like their Auntie, and they have enriched my life!

History of this Casalinga

So...casalinga means "housewife" or "homemaker" in Italian. I like "homemaker" better, because I feel that best describes my chosen vocation. I spent four years preparing for a career in education, did indeed pursue it for a while, but then got married and started having babies, and found that I really loved being a full time homemaker. We decided to make a go of just one income, and with some financial discipline have managed to do just that. We drive used cars, have kept Christmas and vacations modest (by American standards, anyway) and could write the book on DIY. Our lives have been full and rich in experiences, and I have no regrets. 

When our kids moved into their teen years, we decided to start a home building business. My husband left the perceived "security" of a corporate job, acquired his general contractor's license and we started remodeling homes. Then we had the opportunity to build a few custom homes and found we loved doing that together. I am the form and he is the function - I bring the design element to the building process, while he handles the nuts and bolts and finances.


I have no formal training in design, but over the years have learned by experience. I possess skills as a seamstress and have worked with fabric to design and fabricate window treatments and other interior design essentials. We've remodeled numerous parts of our homes over the years and learned a lot by trial and error. Built furniture. Painted countless rooms. Re-upholstered the same chair three times. And now, we've built over 30 custom homes and counting.
So, it dawned on me recently that my dream has always been to be a home-maker...not just making my own home, but literally making homes for other people. I remember as a kid finding a book of house plans in a new section of our neighborhood and being fascinated by the drawings and floor plans...studying the layout, imagining which room could be mine. I even sketched in furniture as I dreamed about this being our new home. I probably should have studied architecture. Little did I know this child's fantasy would become my passion.

My husband actually holds the general contractor's license, but since the slump in home sales, he has been pretty busy doing some industrial construction management in Puerto Rico. I have had to 'hold the fort down' so-to-speak in our residential business for a year or so. I consult with him and together we get it done. But it is a man's world, this world of construction, and my skills and patience have been taxed. I sometimes feel overwhelmed trying to manage everything from selecting tile, carpet, paint and light fixtures (the part I love) to supervising cranky grading contractors and scheduling inspections (the part I don't love). I am very grateful for the work and that we are still operating even in the midst of a really tough housing market, but there are times...

Some of my most memorable moments working as a woman in a man's world include:

• Blushing openly when a landscaping contractor turned to face me with a T-shirt that read...well, I probably shouldn't print what it said. :)
• Pulling up to a noisy job site, so noisy that my approaching car wasn't noticed, and watching a contractor walk from behind his truck zipping up his pants. There WAS a port-a-potty on site...
• Finding a beheaded mouse inside one of our projects.
• Asking a big strong man to help scoop said mouse outside with his shovel and grinning when he said he was kind of squeamish; I promptly asked for his shovel to do it myself. His foreman thankfully jumped in and relieved me of the grim task. 
• Finding a nearly beheaded rabbit, ears missing, in another house. This time though, there was no one to rescue me. I had to take care of it myself. Yuck. 
• Seeing way more proverbial plumber's pants than I ever care to. 
• Walking into a house to find blood all over one of the floors...one of the guys had sustained a serious cut the day before and needed stitches. I was worried the clients would see it and freak out.
• Finding an escaped cow standing in front of the port-a-potty (waiting his turn?).
• Removing the long-dead carcass of a baby deer from under a set of stairs (are you getting the impression we don't build in the city?). 
• Being flirted with many times. It's been tricky to maintain my feminine identity while trying to be the tough guy/boss/payer-of-paychecks. I'm pretty sure a guy named Jose called me "mi Amor" the other day. 
• Having to pay a sub-contractor for a really crappy job and asking him to leave the premises, because I felt very unsafe being alone with him and his crew on the site.
• Enduring man-gossip...oh, yes they gossip and LOVE to talk about the other contractors they work with, complete with racial slurs, petty grievances, and lots of four-letter words. 

And I won't go into the ticks, mud, sheetrock dust, etc. that is a daily part of this world. I don't even think about wearing cute shoes to work. 

But what I actually do enjoy is seeing a job well-done and being able to openly and honestly praise the workers for their fine craftsmanship. I don't think men generally lavish that sort of thanks on other men, and as a woman I find I am quite comfortable doing that. I think the guys appreciate it, too, and they will work with a little spring in their step for me in the future. I also like carrying on the fine reputation my husband has established by paying our bills on time. A lot of people in the construction industry live paycheck to paycheck and it is my pleasure to pay them when they ask for it. 

I also love working with happy clients. Helping them make their home and build their dreams is supremely satisfying. Some are easier than others, but generally it's really fun to help people express their creativity in the place they will call home.