Times of Refreshing

This year, 2015, has turned out to be just we were hoping for...a year of renewal, refreshing, and spiritual rest. Our first grandbaby, Esther, just celebrated her first birthday last week. She came into the world just as ours was taking a dramatic turn for the better. I have been tempted at times to feel guilty for all this abundance, but I have been reminded to just bask in it, soak it in, and give thanks. There are times of suffering and times of blessing in life, and we must praise God no matter what. 

As I reflect on 2015, I am reminded of some highlights...

Esther & Fam
Esther was born at the end of 2014, and there were several cross-country visits to see her in her early months. But then, Esther, her trusty pooch, Butter and their lovely parents moved to North Carolina and lived in our basement apartment for 3 months! And, as if it couldn't get any better, they bought their first home just 25 SHORT minutes from my home. It has been so amazingly wonderful to live close to my sweet eldest daughter and her family...moments I've longed for since she moved to the west coast 6 years ago. Visits over coffee, long chats in front of my fireplace, frequent dinners together, getting to know her fantastic husband, dog-sitting the grand-dog, worshiping alongside them. My heart would be full even if this were the only good thing that happened this year, but alas, God had so much more in store...

Doing what he loves

The End of the Recession

We went into 2015 expecting great things. We were hoping our suspicions were correct, that the slump in the housing market was coming to an end, and my husband could come back to our family residential contracting business full time. We have prayed and believed for that dream during SEVEN long years of weekly business travel, and in March, Kirk quit his corporate job and came home. Our business is booming, and we have been able to provide employment for 2 other men. We do what we love, helping people build or remodel their homes, and make a living at it, too!

Extended family reconciliation
We have had the wonderful and unexpected privilege of renewing some long lost relationships in our extended family. Sometimes your hope for these things grows weary, and you kind of settle. But God has surprised us with some really amazing and fresh connections with relatives, and more frequent, warm communication with our loved ones. It's never too late!

Congrats, Jessie!

Graduation
We celebrated with our youngest daughter, Jessie as she completed her Bachelor's at Appalachian State in May. She also finally landed an 8-5 real job that she loves and we are so happy for her. She will be paying off her loans and saving for the next phase of life - a new car? a house down payment? travel? We are now feeling like our active parenting is really coming to a close, and I'd say we were officially "empty-nesters" except that our house has been full of family all year! I think having your adult kids live with you for a season is a huge blessing. All of ours have done it for different periods of time and for different reasons, but we love them and love being able to help them however we can. The great thing about it is that they are now mature, they love you, and they are not dependent on your for much at all. You just love being together.

Making their baby announcement!

Dr. and Mr. Metty

Settling in NC

Moves and changes for all our kids

Our daughter-in-law Stacey also had a big graduation from UNC School of Dentistry in May, and practices in Charleston, SC. Jon and Stacey moved there over the summer, where Jon was already working at his dream job. Nathan and his wife, Mary moved back to Greensboro in June as he is back in school full time, working on an engineering degree (all the men in our family will soon be mechanical engineers!). They are expecting Emma in February and we are so excited to have another little girl to love. More baby showers...making room for another Metty!

July 20, 1985

Thirtieth Anniversary

July 20, 1985 was the day we tied the knot...and it's been a glorious 30 years full of adventure, challenge, joy, travel, lots of people and lots of love. Kirk and I went to NYC for a few days of biking, a Yankees game, sailing on the Hudson River, dining on the Upper West Side. Ours is a deep bond, he's my lover and best friend, and it's been so worth the effort to make a great marriage.

Community
Some of the little blessings have come to us through spending time with strangers. We have hosted several AirBnB guests and gotten to know people we would otherwise never meet. We participated in welcoming a Somali refugee family (of 10!) to our area and have learned so much about the great needs of refugees around the world. (Side note: if you ever feel like America is 'going to hell in a hand basket'...think again, and be grateful instead - our country is the most amazing, affluent, democratic, free, opportunity-laden and plentiful place on earth. It won't get any better than this, this side of heaven.) I have begun teaching cooking classes again, and getting to know a whole new crop of 20-somethings. And we just catered and hosted a Christmas party for 75 here at our home for all the staff and spouses at our church.

    

Celebrations

Our latest annual Gingerbread House (is it our 25th?) happened this week, and the house is filled with the sights, sounds and smells of Christmas. Every time I walk in the kitchen, I am met with the cozy aroma of gingerbread. And of course, Esther's first birthday was a week of parties and fun. She has become such a darling, always sweet, good-natured, adventurous, and smiling. There is nothing better than to see her bright eyes greet me when we see each other and for her to reach out to me. She has this way of "hugging" me where she buries her head in my chest and tucks her arms between us, just all scrunchy and cozy! And then when I get the chance to rock her to sleep, singing her favorite song softly as she dozes off...I can't think of a better way to spend 20 minutes doing nothing at all.

photo by Abby Stalsbroten

A prayer: "Thank you Jesus, for coming to earth as a vulnerable baby to bring joy and hope to a dying world. Without you, without your influence on human history, we would be a wretched people. You have brought a glint of heaven to us, and we are so grateful for your gracious gifts of love, family, home, health and joy. And of course the hope of heaven, when all things will be made right, especially for the many who have not enjoyed these things on earth. Come, Lord Jesus, come."

"Radiant beams from thy holy face, with the dawn of redeeming grace..." - Silent Night

Summertime, and the Livin' is Easy

  

Well, maybe not easy. My husband and his team have been slaving it out in the hot, hot Carolina sun and humidity for the past couple of weeks, and he is bronzed like a grilled turkey leg. But for me, I’m sweat-averse, so I exercise early in the morning, or ride a bicycle so there is an inherent breeze. I’ve been spending most of my time indoors, trying to re-order my life.

Since January, there has been much up-ending of my routine (as I wrote about here), although they are all happy changes. I love having our baby granddaughter and her delightful parents nearby. It has been AMAZING to have my husband home again full time. Our youngest job-hunting daughter is always a source of great conversation and joy. My sons are thriving and I'm even expecting another grand-baby in the winter from one of them. But these changes have been a tidal shift in the life I had become accustomed to for 5 years or so, even though I didn't like it. I feel a little like a military wife who has to adjust to her husband's return from deployment...my schedule is not as loose as it once was. I feel compelled to be at my husband's beck and call during the day for business purposes. I can't just throw some peanut butter on an apple and call it 'dinner.' There are people around me all the time, and alone time is a luxury once again, rather than the norm. 

Kirk and I happily celebrated 30 years of marriage last month. We went to New York City for a few days and enjoyed some focused time together. We drove, so we had a lot of time to talk in the car undistracted for hours and hours. One of the things I have become quite mindful of is everything in the previous paragraphs…all the change. I brought this up, and we spend some time discussing a restructuring. He just jumped right back into the life of a general contractor, but I had to let go of all the control and involvement to make room for him to do his job. I had been the boots-on-the-ground for several years in our home construction business, and now, finally, he was back. But my role was a little ambiguous, and I frankly didn’t know what to do with myself. I was finding that I began to be cranky, sad, and aimless. Thankfully, I had baby Esther to distract me, but when they moved into their own home in June, all this intensified.

So, we made a plan. I would devote several days a week to our business, and reserve 2 days for family, friends, ministry, chores and personal stuff. I set up an office where I could shut the door as a signal to others that I was unavailable (amazing how even with young adults, Mama seems to be the hub of activity that they gravitate to with a bowl of cereal or a book…that room is just is so much more inviting with Mom in it!). I would focus on tasks that my ‘boss’ gave me on my work days, and only set up coffee dates and lunches with friends on Tuesdays and Thursdays. A regular babysitting date was established for my daughter – I wanted to do this for her, and for the others in time, because I did not have my mother close by when I was a young mom and would have given my right arm for it!

I’ve been at this for about three weeks and it seems to be working. I am way more disciplined about my daily devotions, exercise, to-do lists, work tasks. I’m even ahead on my book club reading!

It feels good and right to be doing this in the summer. I remember when I was teacher, summer was a time of rest but come late July, I was thinking, "reset, get ready, get prepped for the school year." Our book selection this month is The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin and it has been perfect timing for what I am going through right now. So many great suggestions about getting a grip on life in general. 

I feel in many ways that I am entering the autumn of my life. I am getting used to be a grandmother (I mean, having the baby around is the easy part...it's the idea of being old enough to actually be a grandmother that I struggle with!), to being available to my adult kids when asked, to having long uninterrupted hours to myself, to being more intentional about my free time, to being a business owner. How did I become 54 years old so fast? I'm sure there is more personal growth to come and more change is likely. I do love autumn; I sense this is going to be a good season. 

A Spring Full of Change

Our entire family with both sets of grandparents

I just noticed that my last post was February 19th, and it seems like a year's worth of exciting changes have taken place in that 3 month period. I am so full of blessing right now,  I could burst. I know that these sweet seasons of life don't always last for long, so I am committed to savoring this one. I have a tendency to let myself feel guilty when I am experiencing good things, because I know so many people are struggling. But I have also been in those tough seasons, and when life is good, it can be a time of sharing and letting your overflow lift others up. So I hope that someone will be encouraged as they read about our spring.

We welcomed our first grandbaby, Esther into the family in December, born in Seattle. We were delighted to learn that her parents planned to move to North Carolina in April. I was able to take another trip to Washington to help them move (aka, hold Esther while they packed and loaded the truck). I. Can. Not. Imagine - being here while Esther grows up in another state. I know that this is a likelihood in my future (that at least some of my future grandkids will live far away) but from the time I first held her, I've known about them moving here so I've always felt pretty relaxed about not having to say goodbye. Esther is a sweet, sweet baby who smiles and laughs easily and is just incredibly cute all the time. I love having her in my home so much. And of course her mama and daddy.

Love having ALL my kids here!

About the same time we were welcoming our daughter's family, my husband had a huge breakthrough in his extended family relationships. I don't want to go into details on this public forum, but suffice it to say that 35 years of struggle has become a delightful and blessing-filled relationship. The joy and relief related to this reconciliation is beyond words. It has taught us both that nothing is ever impossible, it is never too late, and hope for any situation is always a possibility. It has given me hope for many other situations.

Motorcycle ride on the Blue Ridge Parkway

And after 7 years of travel and trying to hold our building business together, Kirk was able to leave his corporate engineering job and come back to our company full-time. We have had an unprecedented spring in terms of contacts and leads, so much so that leaving his j-o-b was a no-brainer. I have not seen my husband so happy getting dirty and sweaty all day for so, so long. He wakes up at 5:30 every morning excited to put his hands to the work he loves so much, and then sleeps deeply and peacefully every night. I love so much having him home, cooking for him, taking walks with him, watching him work. We are like newlyweds again and spend every minute together we can.

       

Another family dinner

Our sons have both moved on to new phases of their lives as well. Our older son and his freshly minted dentist of a wife have bought their first home in their new city. Our younger son and his wife are moving this week to a new town where he will return to school to pick up a second degree. Big decisions for both of them, but it is so rewarding to see them growing into such fine men.

ASU graduation

And our baby girl graduated from college Mother's Day weekend. She is temporarily living at home as she looks for a job, but we love having her delightful self around.

Good and deep lifetime friendships abound. We are in good health. Our vehicles are running well. We have more than enough in so many areas of our lives. Our home has been full of visitors this spring, and we have hosted so many interesting people. I was reading through our guest book the other day and reflecting on the privilege of hosting the world here for overnight stays and meals. Our guests have been from South Africa, Scotland, California, Poland, Nashville, Washington, New Hampshire, Italy, Swaziland, New York City, Korea, Uganda, Texas, Florida, and on and on. Students, professors, pastors, worship leaders, missionaries, orphans, families, friends old and new. This is certainly one area where it is possible to let this overflow spill out to bring refreshment to others. So many people need a restful, quiet place to recharge, and we can provide this.

I am grateful.

Esther and The Guv'nah

Becoming Nana

Everything they say about it is true...being a grandmother is pretty great. I'm new at this, since December 10th, but so far I'm quite smitten with that little bundle of joy, that warm little loaf of bread. Tiny Esther is just perfect, and she loves to be snuggled and she hardly cries, and it's all just delightful. I've been blessed to have visited with her for 3 out of her 5 weeks of life, and I'm missing her like crazy now that I'm home.

 She slept through her first bath, and then
promptly pooped in her clean towel! 

Tiny delicate perfect fingers... 

...and toes!

These first few weeks have been pretty challenging for Abby and Dave; Esther's been a champion sleeper, pooper, eater and all-around A+ newborn. But her entrance into this world was anything but smooth. Abby had a long labor, and 5.5 hours of pushing, only to have an emergency situation at the very end with a ruptured umbilical cord and hemorrhaging. The midwife literally saved her life. She's had to be diligent about fluid intake and rest because of this trauma and all the demands of labor, delivery, postpartum care and breastfeeding. The emotional toll on Dave has been rough as well, as he stood helplessly watching as his wife began to lose consciousness and his baby's life was in danger. We all thank God daily for sparing Abby and Esther's lives, and bringing them home to be cared for, safe and sound. Dave's doctor/nurse parents are so wonderful and cared for Abby, too, checking her blood pressure and watching over her very carefully those first few days.

Because of all this, I couldn't wait to get out to Seattle and do whatever was needed for them...it was pure joy to tiptoe into their room early each morning when Dave texted my cue, and take Esther for some Nana time. We sat together and sang, prayed and chatted about life for a few hours while Mama and Daddy slept. Then I'd change her diaper, place her in her mother's arms for a feeding, make breakfast, and do some laundry. When Abby got Esther back to sleep, she'd get up for a few minutes and I'd change her sheets and make their bed so she'd have a fresh place to spend the day - total bed rest for over a week, midwife's orders! I spent long hours sitting with Abby and Esther on her bed just talking, rubbing her feet, watching Jimmy Fallon videos and just having a lovely, restful time getting to know the baby. I put away lots of baby gifts, re-arranged the abundant food from friends in the frig, went to the grocery store and brought lattes and pastries back from the local coffee shop. I even walked Butter a few times...but she was a turd most of the time. She even had the nerve to strain her ACL (can that even happen to dogs???) on a run with Dave, and we had to send her to Bestemor's house in Anacortes to recover without being all up in the middle of Abby's recovery. Bestemor and Farfar...that's Norwegian for Grandma and Grandpa Stalsbroten. :)

I took a red-eye December 23rd, staying a few more days than planned because Abby just wasn't up and around yet, and arrived home in time to hit the ground running on Christmas Eve. My family here made sure to have all our traditions in place, taking over all my 'duties' to make it special. I just love them all. My husband and youngest daughter and I were able to return to Seattle to celebrate Esther's dedication to God at church last week. If course, they are in love, too. J-Nasty and The Guvnah, apparently. We'll see. 

                   

I sewed a dress for Esther's church dedication service, made from pieces of three wedding dresses: Abby's, Dave's mom's, and mine. It was a special weekend with the extended family and so great to see that Abby was up and around and almost back to her old self. Esther is a much loved baby, with a wonderful heritage of family. She is named after her paternal great-grandmother, who was an incredible woman, missionary and overcomer. 

Everyone commented about what a superwoman Abby was through that lengthy childbirth experience. She did it all without any drugs, and even endured a life-threatening situation like a champ. I am so, so proud of her, of the amazing woman she has become, and I admire her greatly. She has been so faithful to take care of herself, so she can take care of her baby, and has obeyed midwives' orders religiously. She is a great mom already! And it is sheer joy to see what a loving father and husband Dave is. I feel full to overflowing when I see how God has taken care of my family in so many ways.

Nana, Mama and Esther

The Sisterhood of Motherhood

My lovely darling firstborn has been in labor all day to bring their first baby into the world. A girl, whose first name begins with an "E" and that's all I know. She will be our first grandbaby, and we couldn't be more thrilled.

Of course, I've been thinking about Abby all day, about my own labor bringing her into the world, and wishing I could be with her, help her through it, relieve her of the pain, and experience it up close and personal...not that she would want me that close! I just received a text from her husband that she was in transition and it's been about 15 hours since her water broke at bedtime last night. He said she had gotten sick, which is normal at this stage of labor, but I hate that she is having any discomfort...I feel like that 1960s expectant dad who paced the floor of the maternity wing waiting room!

As I took a walk this morning, I was pondering this life transition for Abby. She will soon join me in the Sisterhood of Motherhood. She will understand things about me that only a mother can understand. What it's like to brave the likes of labor and delivery to bring a precious little one into the world. What it's like to have such a strong love and sense of protection over the tiniest, most beautiful human being you've ever seen. To know that only you can give her what she needs. To feel the most intense sense of responsibility and a love that can actually hurt. And the huge boost in self-confidence she will experience knowing that she did this. She beasted the pain and pushing. That baby girl will need Abby like nobody ever needed her. We will share that same level of emotion, a hard won accomplishment of labor and delivery.

I know that shortly, there will be a call that it is all over, and Baby E is in Abby's arms. But gosh, the wait!

UPDATE: Esther Natalia was born at 9 pm last night, after a long, difficult labor. But she is perfect and nursing like a pro. Now is time for rest, rest, rest. I will leave tomorrow morning bright and early to spend 10 days with them...Can't wait to snuggle them and cook lots of amazing meals for them!

Bart

We knew it was coming. Three of our kids have gotten married since December 2011, so it was just a matter of time, and apparently now is the time...the next generation is on its way! We are going to be grandparents!

Our daughter, Abby and her husband Dave are expecting a girl in early December and we are so excited. She suffered a miscarriage back in the fall of last year, and she wrote about her experience here. So with each month that passed, we were hopeful with her and Dave that there would be new life. She happened to be visiting us here when she took the pregnancy test in late March that revealed a little magic + sign, and we were cautiously optimistic. That was a really special moment for Abby and me, and then because her sister and dad were home then, too, she shared it with them. They kept it under wraps from most until she made it through the first 12 weeks. She's had a pretty easy time of it so far, so there wasn't any morning sickness to have to explain away to her friends.

My husband immediately started referring to the baby as "Bart" for no apparent reason, and continued for months to insist it was a boy (boy, was he ever wrong). And we've had lots of fun with the name game, since it won't be us naming the baby. Back when Bart was in fashion, we thought they could name him Bart Orca Samson Stalsbroten and then his initials would be BOSS. Abby has a fascination with orcas, so we thought that might work. Maybe Baby #2.

"Woman with a baby"

Our family went to the beach together for a few days at the end of May, and Abby decided to share the news with her brothers and their wives then. We took clandestine photos of the belly. And Abby's, too. Somehow Dave can poke his belly out so far, even though he sports a healthy six-pack most of the time!

I'll be Nana, I think, but Kirk is still pondering what he wants to be called. For years, he thought it would be cool to be called The Gov'nah. I keep thinking he should be Pops. Or Poppy. Now he's got it in his head to be The Boss. We'll see.

I know people have babies all the time, but I am just so amazed at the prospect of another generation. Of our people. Adding more people to the family. Multiplying the love. To think that your baby is having a baby...it's a wonder. I've prayed for this little girl as she is growing and changing everyday, and it's so fun to hear about all of Abby's experiences. She and I are sharing a unique experience. Jessie will come in time, surely. But for now, Abby is feeling all that stuff I felt 28+ years ago with her. She's been great about sending photos and telling me about feeling Baby Girl move and kick.

Can't wait to dress that little darlin' up!

We've been feeling for a while that we were "ready" for grandkids. These are the hopes we've shared as we look forward to this phase of life:

• Little ones running around our house, getting into our pantry and making messes
• Making bread and pasta and cookies together
• Carting the kids around in our yard trailer on the back of our mower
• Babies, toddlers, preschoolers and children curled up on our laps, reading all our incredible children's books again and again
• Early morning snuggles and bedtime prayers
• Camping in the backyard
• Nana Camp, and giving Mom and Dad a break for a week or so each summer
• Hearing the kids ask "tell me the story of when..." and then watching my husband spin some exaggerated version of the truth
• Building a tree house
• Introducing them to all the things we love... the beach, sewing, nature hikes, thunderstorms, the workshop, riding bikes, and fall in the mountains
• And, sharing faith with another generation!