The King is Naked!

I know every generation of 50-somethings must say this, but really, is the world getting crazier? Things that were utterly unimaginable in the 1980s are now totally mainstream. Heck, things that were unheard of a year ago are finding their way into daily conversation. Conditions that were once part of the list of psychological disorders are now commonplace and celebrated. Wildly dysfunctional relationships are part of most childhood stories, and when once I only knew one or two people from a broken home, I am now surrounded by them. Two completely unsuitable presidential candidates are our only options on election day in November, and our vet offers laser tag for five extra dollars when boarding the dog.

This scene from Notting Hill illustrates my point:

Poor William isn't quite sure what to say! I know how he feels. Almost weekly, I am hearing some new lifestyle expression, some new genre of human being, some new preference. Gosh, I think even new genders are being identified. It is beyond normal, and even NPR is giving voice to some of it. I heard a well-known host talking with a guest about a 'two-spirited' neighbor, with what I assume was a straight face. Yep. That's a thing. Being two-spirited. Look it up.

One of my favorite childhood stories is The Emperor's New Clothes, by Hans Christian Andersen. If you're not familiar with the story, it goes something like this: some charlatans come to town peddling their fine 'cloth,' so fine that it is invisible - and expensive. Only the wealthiest of the wealthy can afford it. The narcissistic king wants only the best for himself and he falls for it. They go to great lengths, spinning a tale of how fine and beautiful the fabric is, taking their time creating the king's new wardrobe, all the while reassuring the king that only he has a mind broadened and enlightened enough to actually see the fabric. So of course, he pretends to see it. The townspeople realize it is all a hoax, but no one is brave enough to speak up for fear they will be shamed by the king and his supporters. 

Finally, the robes are completed and the king wants to show off his new duds. He dons what he thinks are fine clothes and parades through the streets. No one speaks up. All the people just stare and bow, and feign admiration. No one wants to speak the truth. The king isn't actually wearing anything.

A little boy, who certainly doesn't care about being politically correct, speaks up and shouts what he sees, "the king is naked!"

As a culture, are we there? Are we propping up these ridiculous notions of normalcy, so that we don't risk being shamed by our politically correct society? Should we be shouting, "the king is naked!"

We are doing our troubled neighbors, colleagues and acquaintances a terrible disservice by not calling what they are struggling with an illness, a disorder, a problem. Maybe even sin. Instead of celebrating their so-called freedom, we should be offering help and healing, and a way to escape the bondage.

Randy Stonehill, a popular musician during my college years penned these words:

Stop the world, I want to get off. 
This is too weird for me. 
Stop the world, I want to get off
I get the definite impression that this isn't how it's meant to be.
-Stop the World, Randy Stonehill 

(full lyrics here)

Though tempting to dream about, I don't really want to get off. But I do want to leave a positive legacy on the earth when I pass on. How can I make the world a better place for my grandchildren? Encouraging people to continue living in self-destructive ways by my indifference or celebration is not one of those ways. Telling the king he is naked, perhaps is. I want to find a way to pull him aside and tell him lovingly with a hug and some kindness, "let me help you find some real clothes, your Highness."

Emma Kate!

How did we get so BLESSED to have such wonderful children and grandchildren?? My heart is full to overflowing with all this sweetness.

Meet Emma Kate. She is our little darling granddaughter, brought to us by our son, Nathan and his sweet wife, Mary in February. Isn't she precious?

This girl has got the moves...quite literally, she is in constant motion. Mary said while she was pregnant that baby girl was constantly kicking her. We all watched it! One wonders what this means? Will she be an Olympic soccer player? Or does she just have a super high metabolism and has got to burn all that energy off somehow?

She is now coming up on 4 months old, and is starting to coo, talk, laugh and she smiles all the time. It is so wonderful when a baby starts to interact with her people. I love it when I get a chance to hold her, sing to her and read her a book. Just feeling her little body in my arms...so much love.

And I'm so proud of Mary and Nate. They are great parents! These first few months of newborn life, having a baby in your home for the first time, very sporadic sleep...these times can try the soul. But they always look beautiful, rested and joyful and are taking their parenting role very seriously. There is nothing quite like watching your son be a daddy. The love in his eyes for his little girl...so precious.

I am so thankful for this beautiful gift of life, of a new little girl that carries our name and God's purposes into the next generation. We love you, Emma!

Learning to Love Well

I turn 55 years old on Saturday. I learned about a personal relationship I could have with God when I was 10 years old and embraced that for myself, so that means I've been a follower of Christ for forty-five years. But I am FAR from where I know He would like me to be. I am still learning, and the more I grow and learn, the more I realize how far I am from the mark. I am still learning to love well.

Sunday morning, in the wee hours of party time, a man with evil in his heart went into a nightclub and killed 49 people, and injured many others. Since then, the interwebs have been full of expressions of love and concern, but also admonishment, blame, judgement and accusations.

"Christians, say something. Don't say nothing."

"Christians, don't say something now. It's disingenuous."

"Christians are full of hate towards the LGBTQ community."

"Christians love the LGBTQ community."

Golly, what is it? There is no formula to find the truth in all this; everyone has an opinion. We love to look like the good guy out there in cyber space and make everyone else look like they are not doing it right. Facebook is my social media platform of choice, but I almost cannot stand it any longer. (As a matter of fact, I 'unfriended' 650 of my 700 friends recently, just to simplify my life. Hopefully most of those 650 people are still my real friends, though.) I have seen all of this kind of conflicting and divisive commentary on FB since Sunday. My husband doesn't have any social media accounts; no Facebook, no Instagram, no Snapchat, etc. He is completely oblivious to the conflict that is raging particularly on Facebook right now (and at other times). Wouldn't it be nice to live in such oblivion? He is not responsible for any awareness of people being snarky and judgey with each other, simply because he does not participate in it.

Sometimes I want to move to the moon and escape it all.

In John 17, Jesus is praying for his disciples. He spends a fair amount of time asking God to help them be one, be in unity as he and the Father are in unity. This is such a strong indictment on the church currently...if there is one thing we are not, it is unified! The banter on social media and the accusations between Christians toward one another is appalling. It is the farthest thing from unity that could ever be. How grieved God must be when he looks at his church. I'm not sure what the solution is but I have to believe humility is a starting point.

What I do know, is that I have not learned all I need to know about loving well. Loving my family. Loving my neighbors and friends. Loving those who think differently than I do (and FB just illuminates this in. my. face. every single day and it's just gotten to be too much). Loving those who are different than I.

I'm venting today, because I want to just feel sad that so many souls passed into eternity too young, too soon, too early, but I feel like the world is telling me that I need to think about some other things, too. I just want to feel sad, not complicated.

So I did; I cried really hard today thinking about all that was lost. God help us.

Whole30 and Beyond

I have cranked up my cooking classes again (which have surprisingly gotten very popular lately...had to put a cap on the number of people descending on our kitchen for messy activities such as making pasta from scratch...it was fun, but, whew! That's a lot of eggs) and wow, are we having a good time!

My family and I completed the Whole30 challenge in January, and although I would say that not everyone 'enjoyed' it, I did. Maybe because I poured my heart and soul into in the kitchen all month. Maybe because I definitely saw some improvement in the way I feel, slept, energy levels, etc. I would highly recommend this to anyone who has the time to devote to meal planning and cooking. I learned so much about myself and my relationship to food, and learned a bunch of new things in the kitchen, too. I ended up making all kinds of things from scratch: mayonnaise, almond milk, bacon (yep - can anyone say 'pork belly?'), and salad dressings.

I thought it would be awesome to pass along some of what I learned to my cooking class, so we had a BforD (Breakfast for Dinner) last night. (*note: cheese is a no-no on the Whole30 but I introduced it last night as an option for those not following the diet)

Menu: Frittata, Sausage, and Banana Pancakes

Frittata is awesome because it is so easy, kinda gourmet, and can be different every time. It lets a new cook feel a huge sense of accomplishment while allowing so much freedom to be creative. And you can use leftover meat, veggies or cheese. No special ingredients necessary. 

Frittata
Ingredients and Instructions:
A cast iron skillet, small if you are just making enough for one or two.
Olive oil
Vegetables: can be fresh or already cooked, leftovers are great! Mushrooms, onions, garlic, peppers, spinach, kale, potatoes, sweet potatoes, squash, etc.
Meat, if desired: ground beef, pork, chicken, shrimp
Cheese: whatever!

Heat oil in skillet. Saute vegetables and/or meats til thoroughly cooked. Season if desired with s&p, oregano, thyme, sage...be creative!

When saute is complete, add beaten eggs, one or two per person. Turn heat to medium-low and let eggs cook until they are almost set. Add cheese on top if desired and place in broiler for a few minutes until frittata is completely cooked (eggs will be set) and cheese is melted and browning.
Remove from oven and serve.

Sausage
Most ready-made sausage has sugar in it, so I wanted to find a way to enjoy this breakfast treat in a Whole30 compliant way. This recipe would also work with ground chicken or turkey.

1 pound of ground pork
1 t. each of garlic powder, thyme, oregano, sage, celery seed, parsley
1/2 t. each of salt and red pepper flakes
(you can adjust these seasonings to your liking)
Mix together and fry in saute pan.

Easy peasy.

Banana Pancakes (and technically, you're not supposed to eat pancakes while on the Whole30, although I'm not sure why???)
My daughter brought this one home from college, and it's become a staple around here.

The basic recipe is 2 ingredients: a small banana and 1 egg. But I thought they needed a little more substance so I beefed them up a little.

Per person, makes 2 pancakes:
1 small banana
1 egg
1 1/2 t. coconut flour
1/4 t. baking soda
Sprinkle of salt
Sprinkle of cinnamon
Few drops of vanilla

Put all ingredients in a blender and pulse a few times to combine. Spray non-stick skillet with coconut oil and cook like regular pancakes. You can add berries or pecans, or top with a crushed and cooked berry mixture.

Love filling up this big table with happy faces!

Some Tips for Hosting

As mentioned in my last post, I recently catered and hosted a Christmas party for 75. I love to have my home full of conversation, good smells, beauty and laughter, and throwing a big party is just the ticket. This is the second time I've hosted this particular party, although we've done other similar events. I've learned some tips and tricks along the way.

Tip #1 - Enlist help
Find several helpers, and choose them carefully. Find people who either love to serve by nature, or want to learn about hosting. We used real dish ware, so washing dishes was an all-evening affair for 3 people (in the mudroom, by hand). I also had some parking attendants at the beginning, and asked helpers to replenish food and drinks. They were also the ones I counted on to help with a myriad of small tasks, and I just supervised and tried to sit down as often as possible!

Tip #2 - Meticulous planning
I'm a list-maker and nothing brings me more pleasure than to cross things off. Creating a menu, shopping and to-do lists are so much fun for me! I got a little spiral notebook just for this party and kept it close by at all times for a few weeks ahead. Once I knew how many guests to expect and the budget, I could set to work coming up with a menu that was tasty, manageable and met various dietary needs (aka, omnivores, vegetarians, lactose-intolerant, etc...things have really changed since I first got married and started hosting!). Careful planning and lists, lists, lists are key to throwing a big party.

Tip #3 - Don't offer too many items
I had about 15 menu items, which in hindsight is still a few too many. Consider having 3 or 4 "wow" items and then fill in the rest of the menu with the old standbys. Inevitably, there are the crowd favorites and the duds...and sometimes you can't predict this; I made sure I had plenty of shrimp cocktail, but we had gobs leftover and not nearly enough California rolls. I wanted this menu to be "international" so we offered items from the Mid-East, Asia, Italian, Caribbean and American.

Tip #4 - Don't try to make everything from scratch
I decided to make a lot of the food here at home, but I outsourced some, too. On the day of, I picked up ready-made falafel, sushi and bbq from local sources. I made baked ziti and a creole sauce with rice and beans several days ahead and stored it in the freezer. I bought some desserts and had my daughter make a few items. My other daughter has a great salad recipe so I asked her to make a massive quantity of it. I kept the drinks simple - just sweet tea and flavored waters, hot cider and coffee.

Tip #5- Plan out each day's activities for a week ahead
Starting with shopping, I worked a little each day leading up the the event. Several things I could cook ahead and freeze, but then finding space for those items to thaw had to be factored in. So each day had a few tasks, considering storage space in the refrigerator, freezer and oven. I assigned tasks to myself and those that were helping me on the day of. And of course, my sweet husband was willing to give me his entire late afternoon to be 'on call.'

Tip #6 - Include ALL tasks, no matter how small, on that list!
Lighting candles 15 minutes before showtime is an essential and time consuming task! Put it on the list! Changing from my work clothes to my party clothes was also on that activities list, as was turning on the coffee makers. Cleaning the bathrooms, stocking toilet paper and making sure the dishwasher was empty were other things on that week-of list. And delegate, delegate, delegate. Decide what you must do and then give the rest of the tasks to someone else.

Tip #7 - Don't sweat the small stuff
At the last minute, we were blowing breakers left and right with all the coffee urns and outdoor heaters. We had to scramble to find a solution, but I passed that off to my husband whom I trust to do things well. We ran out of broccoli salad, and someone set a small fire on my dining table. But we just deal with those things...remember to keep the main thing, the main thing...we want everyone to be well-fed, feel appreciated and just have a good time being together.

Tip #8 - Leave the big clean up til morning
I am DONE by the time everyone heads home around 10 pm. So, even though the kitchen is a disaster, I leave it until the morning. I know I will have tons more energy when the sun comes up, and I will tackle that project bright and early. I asked my helpers to get all the dishes, glassware, forks, and coffee cups cleaned before they left, and I took care of the serving platters, trays, coffee urns, etc. myself. I turned on my favorite Pandora Christmas station (Johnnyswim Holiday, btw) and worked like a little Christmas elf all morning.

My home was designed with hospitality in mind. One of the best spaces is the kitchen/breakfast/keeping room area, where all 75 people stood at the end of the party for a little speech. In addition, I have a large covered porch with a fireplace, so I installed curtains to enclose it, and bought some outdoor heaters, which gave us lots of extra overflow space, even on a December night. Two years ago when I threw this party, I moved a lot of my furniture out and brought in tables and chairs and made sure there was a place setting for every person. This year, I left the house as it was, brought in folding chairs and we had a more casual affair. I find that only about half of the people actually sit down at an event like this; most people are on the move with their plate in hand and only sit for a few minutes at a time. I counted about 50 places to sit in my house the way it was (furniture, fireplace hearth, outdoor chairs, ottomans, etc.) so I didn't need a ton of extra seating. Thankfully everyone milled about from the kitchen (where the food was served buffet-style on my island) to the other rooms on the first floor.

I'm looking forward to hosting again in the new year. This is my way of showing people that I love them, that I appreciate them. And I feel a huge sense of satisfaction knowing that they ate something yummy in my home and shared life with me.

Menu:
Shrimp shooters (2 shrimp served in a puddle of cocktail sauce in a shot glass)
Creole sauce with Rice and Beans (veg)
Baked Ziti (veg)
Bacon-wrapped dates with goat cheese
Falafel with Tahini (veg)
California rolls (veg)
NC BBQ sliders
Anitipasti (cheese, olives, nuts, grapes, crackers) (veg)
Lobster bites
Broccoli Salad
Caprese Skewers (veg)
Oreo Truffle balls
Chocolate covered pretzels
Assorted Cookies
Candy
Hot cider
Coffee/tea
Flavored still and sparkling water
Sweet Tea

Times of Refreshing

This year, 2015, has turned out to be just we were hoping for...a year of renewal, refreshing, and spiritual rest. Our first grandbaby, Esther, just celebrated her first birthday last week. She came into the world just as ours was taking a dramatic turn for the better. I have been tempted at times to feel guilty for all this abundance, but I have been reminded to just bask in it, soak it in, and give thanks. There are times of suffering and times of blessing in life, and we must praise God no matter what. 

As I reflect on 2015, I am reminded of some highlights...

Esther & Fam
Esther was born at the end of 2014, and there were several cross-country visits to see her in her early months. But then, Esther, her trusty pooch, Butter and their lovely parents moved to North Carolina and lived in our basement apartment for 3 months! And, as if it couldn't get any better, they bought their first home just 25 SHORT minutes from my home. It has been so amazingly wonderful to live close to my sweet eldest daughter and her family...moments I've longed for since she moved to the west coast 6 years ago. Visits over coffee, long chats in front of my fireplace, frequent dinners together, getting to know her fantastic husband, dog-sitting the grand-dog, worshiping alongside them. My heart would be full even if this were the only good thing that happened this year, but alas, God had so much more in store...

Doing what he loves

The End of the Recession

We went into 2015 expecting great things. We were hoping our suspicions were correct, that the slump in the housing market was coming to an end, and my husband could come back to our family residential contracting business full time. We have prayed and believed for that dream during SEVEN long years of weekly business travel, and in March, Kirk quit his corporate job and came home. Our business is booming, and we have been able to provide employment for 2 other men. We do what we love, helping people build or remodel their homes, and make a living at it, too!

Extended family reconciliation
We have had the wonderful and unexpected privilege of renewing some long lost relationships in our extended family. Sometimes your hope for these things grows weary, and you kind of settle. But God has surprised us with some really amazing and fresh connections with relatives, and more frequent, warm communication with our loved ones. It's never too late!

Congrats, Jessie!

Graduation
We celebrated with our youngest daughter, Jessie as she completed her Bachelor's at Appalachian State in May. She also finally landed an 8-5 real job that she loves and we are so happy for her. She will be paying off her loans and saving for the next phase of life - a new car? a house down payment? travel? We are now feeling like our active parenting is really coming to a close, and I'd say we were officially "empty-nesters" except that our house has been full of family all year! I think having your adult kids live with you for a season is a huge blessing. All of ours have done it for different periods of time and for different reasons, but we love them and love being able to help them however we can. The great thing about it is that they are now mature, they love you, and they are not dependent on your for much at all. You just love being together.

Making their baby announcement!

Dr. and Mr. Metty

Settling in NC

Moves and changes for all our kids

Our daughter-in-law Stacey also had a big graduation from UNC School of Dentistry in May, and practices in Charleston, SC. Jon and Stacey moved there over the summer, where Jon was already working at his dream job. Nathan and his wife, Mary moved back to Greensboro in June as he is back in school full time, working on an engineering degree (all the men in our family will soon be mechanical engineers!). They are expecting Emma in February and we are so excited to have another little girl to love. More baby showers...making room for another Metty!

July 20, 1985

Thirtieth Anniversary

July 20, 1985 was the day we tied the knot...and it's been a glorious 30 years full of adventure, challenge, joy, travel, lots of people and lots of love. Kirk and I went to NYC for a few days of biking, a Yankees game, sailing on the Hudson River, dining on the Upper West Side. Ours is a deep bond, he's my lover and best friend, and it's been so worth the effort to make a great marriage.

Community
Some of the little blessings have come to us through spending time with strangers. We have hosted several AirBnB guests and gotten to know people we would otherwise never meet. We participated in welcoming a Somali refugee family (of 10!) to our area and have learned so much about the great needs of refugees around the world. (Side note: if you ever feel like America is 'going to hell in a hand basket'...think again, and be grateful instead - our country is the most amazing, affluent, democratic, free, opportunity-laden and plentiful place on earth. It won't get any better than this, this side of heaven.) I have begun teaching cooking classes again, and getting to know a whole new crop of 20-somethings. And we just catered and hosted a Christmas party for 75 here at our home for all the staff and spouses at our church.

    

Celebrations

Our latest annual Gingerbread House (is it our 25th?) happened this week, and the house is filled with the sights, sounds and smells of Christmas. Every time I walk in the kitchen, I am met with the cozy aroma of gingerbread. And of course, Esther's first birthday was a week of parties and fun. She has become such a darling, always sweet, good-natured, adventurous, and smiling. There is nothing better than to see her bright eyes greet me when we see each other and for her to reach out to me. She has this way of "hugging" me where she buries her head in my chest and tucks her arms between us, just all scrunchy and cozy! And then when I get the chance to rock her to sleep, singing her favorite song softly as she dozes off...I can't think of a better way to spend 20 minutes doing nothing at all.

photo by Abby Stalsbroten

A prayer: "Thank you Jesus, for coming to earth as a vulnerable baby to bring joy and hope to a dying world. Without you, without your influence on human history, we would be a wretched people. You have brought a glint of heaven to us, and we are so grateful for your gracious gifts of love, family, home, health and joy. And of course the hope of heaven, when all things will be made right, especially for the many who have not enjoyed these things on earth. Come, Lord Jesus, come."

"Radiant beams from thy holy face, with the dawn of redeeming grace..." - Silent Night

Pasta with the Masses

Ready, set, go! Oh, so organized...but not for long!

Before the holidays, we had a lesson in pasta making, which I've discussed here before. But it's always new to someone who hasn't learned it before and I love watching faces light up with the joy of discovery! I always start this lesson thinking I'm going to keep my kitchen under control...but inevitably, it ends up looking like a bomb went off. It's all good though...everyone pitches in and helps with the clean-up. And we always have a good time being together. 

These guys always want a challenge!

Just an all-around good time, learning new stuff, laughing and eating. 

Next time, though, fewer students.